


Resisting gravity

by dingdongrumba



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Because otherwise they would never get together, Flirting, Free Time Events, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Gay denial lmao, Hinata is 20 percent less of an idiot AU, M/M, Mostly Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, NSFW in later chapters, Nothing too dark but mind it, Suicide Attempt, Tsundere Hinata Hajime, tags to be added as story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2020-09-24 14:15:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20359882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dingdongrumba/pseuds/dingdongrumba
Summary: He had to get away, run, escape as fast as he could. He was dangerous, he couldn't just turn a blind eye to that obvious fact.But Nagito Komaeda was like a damn black hole, always pulling him back in, always seeming to appear right in his orbit again every time he tried to push himself away.If only he could resist gravitational force.---Komahina/Hinakoma set during SDR2 (and possibly after that as well). What I felt could've happened in the moments the player couldn't see ;)





	1. The pull of the breeze

**Author's Note:**

> So I uh, ship this hardcore now fkdkdgk. I've been thinking about this ship constantly and what kind of dynamics they could've had during the entire killing game school trip.
> 
> This is basically gonna be a "fill in the gaps of what happened in the island in the moments the game skipped because plot reasons". I'll try to stick to canon as much as possible but I'm not afraid to ignore an event or two in order for my ideas to work ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ also there will probably be more than just 2 days between each murder/chapter that happened in the game. 
> 
> Oh, should go without saying, but this is going to spoil the entirety of SDR2.
> 
> I'm not sure how far into the game I'm going to get! I'd like to explore every chapter up to post-sdr2 but who knows what I'll actually end up accomplishing. Please mind this will probably contain nsfw, if I manage to reach that point lol. 
> 
> Also mind the fact English isn't my native language, I don't have a beta, and I don't really consider myself a writer either fjsjfjdgt I'm only doing this because this damn idea wouldn't leave me alone and I'm really thirsty for komahina content.

"Hey... Can you hear me?"

"Are you okay?"

Those had been the first words he'd heard upon waking up.

They'd been soft, kind, appeasing words. Words that woke him up gently, contrasting the cruel glare of the tropical sun that hurt him even behind his eyelids, like waking up late on a weekend with the curtains open letting all the sunlight peek into your room.

And when his brain finally kicked into gear again to regain complete consciousness and pick up recent scattered memories the world kept steadily making less and less sense.

What the hell was this sand beneath his fingers? The feeling of sunburn against his skin? The distinct smell of seawater on his nostrils? And why the fuck was there a talking stuffed animal in a bad anime cosplay waving a stick around?

Everything was confusing, nothing made sense and it continued to not make sense for the rest of... Well, spoiler alert, but for the rest of his life (That's right, his life continued to get progressively more fucked up from that point onwards).

At times like this, when you could feel the grip on your sanity weaken at the very tip of your fingers, having other people to share this feeling of despair was vital. Sure, some people were way too accommodating and not freaking out enough for his liking, but at least pretty much everyone agreed it was a strange situation at the very least, a couple of people even seemed to be as interested in getting out of that island as he was. It was... reassuring, to know he wasn't suddenly the only sane person left on Earth, even if there was a small chance he had gone completely coocoo and was hallucinating this entire situation, including the people, he didn't dwell on that depressing thought.

Having sane people around (varying degrees of that, but what could you exactly expect from Ultimates?) was nice, but even nicer was having a kind soul be willing to tag along with him and ease his anxieties a little bit. Sure, he wasn't doing anything special other than keeping him company, but oftentimes that was the line between madness and sanity.

Admittedly, if it wasn't for Komaeda, he would've probably gone full-on panic attack mode at the beach. Komaeda had been warm, kind and understanding after waking him up. Hinata had been a little freaked by how calm he was even in face of the strange situation, but his laidback attitude was probably what saved him from jumping off to the water to swim until he found ground or drowned and got eaten by sharks, whatever happened first. In a way, Komaeda had helped him keep his feet on the ground through the first couple of hours of being in (still unbeknownst to him) Jabberwock island.

Nagito Komaeda was odd and had weird hair and tired eyes and he looked pale even beneath the golden sun.

But he was also... really pleasant to be with... and his laugh was kind of nice too.

For the brief moment when he was running towards the beach telling everyone to wait for him to start playing, his first thought had been to hang out with Komaeda for a bit... Since he had already decided to enjoy himself on this (still very odd and suspicious) school trip, maybe he'd actually try to make friends with his classmates, and Komaeda... seemed like a good first option.

None of that, of course, ever happened.

He hadn't even changed into his swimsuit yet when the perfect weather of the tropical island changed to a grey cloudy sky.

And then the monitor on the beach came to life.

And then... _he_ had appeared.

Their situation drastically changed after that. Bad things happened one after the other, piling on each other until something like hope seemed like a waste of time and energy. He was never a particularly optimistic person, but he liked to think of himself as quite the hopeful guy that tried to work hard to achieve his goals. However, by the time the day had ended and their new life announced its dreadful beginning, his entire soul felt like it had been stripped down from all the hope.

He had had a bad feeling about the whole situation from the start, the very start. He knew nothing good could come out of such a suspicious situation. He tried warning everyone about it, tried raising awareness that they should all try to find a way to escape the island, contact somebody, _anything_... But it had all been for naught and in the end, the reality was even worse than anything he could've possibly imagined. Talking animals, inhabited islands, a bunch of Ultimates he didn't know and a goddamn killing game.

He barely spared a glance at his assigned cottage when he first entered and collapsed on top of the bed. His body faintly acknowledged the fact that the mattress was unexpectedly comfortable but that had been a subconscious remark at best, leaving his mind to just run around in circles. Unfinished, frantic thoughts that reached no conclusion just boiling in his head until he forgot how to properly form thoughts or even emotions for that matter.

His mind couldn't catch up with the situation, so the only answer it found was... scream. Scream long and loud against the pillow. Not out of consideration to the others or even just for the sake of his own ears, the pillow was simply conveniently placed right below his mouth.

So he screamed, screamed until there was no more air in his lungs and his head started feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen. His face was still smashed against the pillow so it was difficult to draw in air and he absentmindedly thought he would probably die if he didn't breath properly soon.

...

Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

... 

Ultimately, survival instinct took over and he turned his head to take a big gulp of air.

He laid there, still dizzy and sprawled across the bed, now looking towards the wall but not really seeing it either. His right cheek felt wet in the spot on the pillow where his face had just been on top of and he briefly wondered if that was spit or tears or both. He felt a flash of anger towards himself for a bit for having turned over and not letting it all end right then and there, but now it was too late and he didn't think he'd have the balls to try and suffocate himself one more time.

That was the closest he'd ever been to committing suicide.

He took a particularly long sigh when he noticed there was no way he'd fall asleep like this. When he entered his cottage he had been so exhausted and would've probably slept for a hundred years if it wasn't for the fact that his own yelling had apparently drained all the tiredness from his body. He wasn't energized by any means, but there was a restlessness in all four of his limbs now that would certainly keep him awake.

He rolled over and studied his room in a bit more detail before that became boring as well. He wasn't sure how long he'd be trapped in here or if he would ever set foot out of the island ever again but he couldn't picture himself growing comfortable to this room. There was an odd shelf in the corner, a drawer, a TV, a table and a partly transparent door that led to what looked like a very nice bathroom (he couldn't tell for sure and wasn't interested in confirming it at the moment). It was a nice room, if a little impersonal, one he'd probably find good enough if he was in any other kind of situation, but right now it was hard to imagine enjoying... _anything_ at all.

He realized he needed to get out when he caught himself counting how many cracks had one of the wooden planks of the floor. He quickly rubbed his eyes before putting on his sandals (that had so generously been placed in his cottage beforehand, from the looks of it) and walking out of his room.

There were no lights outside to illuminate the walkboard or the poolside but the moon and stars were so bright it wasn't hard to find his way to the hotel lobby. It was dark in there, not a lot of moonlight peeked through and he felt increasingly uneasy there, the thought of turning on the light never crossed his brain and his feet swiftly took him upstairs to the more open, certainly better lit and less claustrophobic restaurant.

He wasn't sure what he had planned to do there. For a while he simply stood there in the middle of the room just looking around, seeing if there was anything of interest to entertain himself with while he waited to feel tired again.

He finally opted to sit in one of the booths looking out towards the balcony, watching the palm leaves flutter and make music in the mild wind. He stared at the trees, trying to guess how strong would the next movement be and how loud of a sound would it make. It was hypnotic, and such a boring activity not much more engaging than watching paint dry should've made him sleepy in less than 5 minutes, but it ended up occupying him for about half an hour.

Wood creaking noises were what finally snapped him out of his trance. He blinked once and quickly deduced it was the sound of someone going up the stairs from outside the hotel, the ones that led directly to the poolside. He stayed quiet and unmoving, partially hidden by the darkness of the restaurant, slightly curious as to who might be wandering off at this hour.

Before he could make any educated guesses the light of the moon caught in the wanderer's hair and made it shine like a beacon in the middle of the dark. Nagito Komaeda went up the last of the stairs with a noticeable drag in each of his steps, like each of them took a huge amount of effort to accomplish.

Hinata waited for him to enter the restaurant and notice him sitting in the booth, but Komaeda stayed in the balcony and crosses his arms against the railing, which apparently was his objective all along.

Komaeda was, by the looks of it, simply looking out the balcony and enjoying the breeze. Hinata half expected to hear sobbing coming from Komaeda's direction and felt genuinely surprised when he didn't.

He didn't have a good excuse, but he kept staring at Komaeda's back for a while, not being able to tell much about was he was feeling or thinking from this angle. At one point something on his left seemed to have caught his attention, and Komaeda continued to stare at whatever off-screen object had gained his interest for a while.

When enough time had passed and Hinata had started feeling like a bit of a creep for just sitting there in the dark watching an unknowing Komaeda, he finally decided to get up and approach the boy on the balcony. He'd barely gotten up from his seat when Komaeda swiftly turned around with a slightly startled expression on his face, no doubt having been freaked out by the sudden movement his peripheral vision must have caught. It didn't take long for his surprise to fade though, and Hinata saw his shoulders visibly relax under the moonlight as he continued to walk towards the balcony.

"Ah! Hinata! You scared me, I didn't hear you enter the building, or walk up the stairs. Haha, how embarrassing, you must have seen me jump just now, didn't you?"

Hinata eyed him casually as he leaned his arms against the railing imitating Komaeda's pose from a second ago. "Yeah, sorry about that, I was actually here before you even showed up, sorry for not saying hi before, I was just... I don't know" He didn't want to drag Komaeda's apparent good mood alongside his across the floor, and perhaps he should've made a better effort at trying to hide his sour mood, but his brain didn't seem to be very good at consideration this late at night and frankly... It was too much of a bother to care.

"I see. Don't worry about it, I should be more aware of my surroundings. Good thing you weren't planning to kill me or I'd definitely be dead by now, right?" It wasn't funny. It wasn't the least bit funny but for some reason Komaeda chuckled softly like it was a natural thing to do after that sentence.

"D-Don't say that, idiot!" He snapped, offended and borderlining on horrified at Komaeda's suggestion. "Of course I'm not planning to kill you! Don't say things like that so casually!"

"Oh, pardon me, it just looked like you really needed it"

"What is that supposed to mean!?"

"You're feeling more awake now, aren't you?" His mouth quirked in the shape of a smile and Hinata couldn't help but stare at it. Did he... say that to stir him up on purpose? Could Komaeda tell? That he had been feeling numb and dazed since he almost suffocated on his own pillow? Well, perhaps not that specifically, but...

He didn't reply and stared at the tropical scenery for the first time. He blinked once and noticed he was... actually feeling a lot better now. Getting indignant at Komaeda had brought back his emotions and he was feeling like himself again. Still not... great... but better, at least he recognized his own thoughts again.

A comfortable silence settled between them.

After having come back to the real world, Hinata was able to notice how warm the night was despite the breeze, it really was a tropical island after all. How could Komaeda bare to wear that parka in this heat? It looked completely out of place in contrast to the exotic scenery they were at. Actually, a lot of things about Komaeda felt out of place; his smile, his calm demeanor, his kindness... If it wasn't a completely absurd possibility, Hinata could almost think Komaeda had gone through a similar situation in the past. Well, that much was impossible, but maybe he was used to being thrown in strange situations? Perhaps even dangerous ones? He grew curious, but it felt a little rude to ask.

Instead, he opted to ask about something that had puzzled him a while ago. "So what were you looking at?" He broke the loud silence after a couple of minutes of staring at the palm trees in the distance.

"Hm?"

"Before, you were looking at something, on your left" He stated and pointed at the alleged direction for emphasis, Komaeda following his finger.

"Ah, haha, I wasn't looking at anything in particular, just kind of... admiring the view, I suppose"

Hinata quietly snorted. "What view? You can only see palm trees from here and that old building Monomi doesn't let us enter is blocking the view of the sea."

Komaeda braced his elbow against the railing and leaned his cheek on top of his palm, turning around to meet Hinata's eyes again. "You got me there" He laughed bubbly and Hinata unwillingly smiled at the sound, not realizing he was now mirroring Komaeda's position. "It's not like there's much better to do in this hotel anyway. I'm not really a video game guy so I'm not interested in the arcade machines and I didn't feel like going to the pool this late at night. I just wanted to enjoy the breeze out here a little bit."

"Guess you're right, I dunno, it just seemed like you were staring at something." At that, Komaeda's amicable smile turned up one or two notches on the sly scale, sending a shiver down Hinata's spine and feeling like the breeze had gotten warmer all of a sudden.

"The one that was staring for quite a while was you, Hinata. Is my back really that interesting that it kept you entertained for who knows how long?"

It didn't sound like a scolding, or even like Komaeda was legitimately bothered by it. Rather, he sounded kind of... coy. Hinata felt heat rush to his cheeks and told himself the flirty subtext in Komaeda's words definitely had to be his imagination. Suddenly it felt like they were much closer than they were before, even though neither had moved a lot since their conversation had started. "I-I wasn't- I was only- uh, waiting to see what you would, uh, do." He blurted out and not even he was sure if that had been the truth or a lie. "I thought... you'd eventually enter the restaurant and see me?" He asked rather than stated. He was sure he didn't sound the least bit convincing but Komaeda only nodded in a silent 'I see' and turned to look at the palm trees again.

"So you were here before me, you said? I'm assuming you couldn't really sleep, either?" The 'either' almost sounded like an afterthought, but Hinata brushed it off and heaved a dramatically deep sigh.

"I guess, I'm just... not dealing with this all too well."

"That's to be expected. This is quite a strange situation after all. One of us could actually end up killing someone, or going insane, or even killing themselves." Hinata shivered again, remembering his own weak attempt at committing suicide not more than two hours ago. "That would truly be hopeless. Surrendering yourself to despair like that, especially an Ultimate... what kind of hope would that bring? What purpose would that serve?" Komaeda's voice remained light-hearted even when discussing such a dark topic, but there was also a hint of passion that led Hinata to believe he felt strongly about this particular topic.

"... Hopeless, huh? You really think so?"

Komaeda turned his head around a lot quicker than was necessary and almost seemed to be wounded by Hinata's words. Seeing Komaeda so indignified, borderlining on offended was pretty strange, since he'd only been friendly and laid-back so far, or at least for the couple of hours since they've become acquaintances, but, still. It wasn't... an unpleasant sight, to tell the honest truth.

"Of course I do! I couldn't bear to see the students of Hope's Peak Academy, the symbols of Hope, lose to despair like that! It would mean they weren't even willing to fight it from the beginning! That would be... truly a tragedy."

"I suppose I... get what you mean." He replied quietly, and it was true. He knew there was no way Komaeda knew about his half-hearted suicide attempt from before but he still felt like he had personally spat on his face. "You're right, we need to fight it together with all we've got before we even think about giving up. We're friends now, and we're a team, if we all work together and stand our ground against Monokuma, we'll find a way to get out of this island." In his own way, Komaeda had managed to strengthen Hinata's spirits. Even just standing next to him, being aware he was there, having such faith and admiration for him- them, it was... hopeful.

Hinata felt like he could truly hope for a better future, a better outcome, even in this situation, all thanks to Komaeda.

God, what kind of influence did this stranger apparently have on him?

He was pulled away from his thoughts by the warm touch of a hand against his arm. Startled, Hinata refocused his attention back on Komaeda and saw... huh?

For a second he thought he'd seen a glimpse of... something... in Komaeda's eyes.

Something kind of... unhinged.

... 

But just like that it disappeared and was replaced by a surprisingly deep fondness that made his touch burn beneath his palm. Not even the hot weather could compete with how warm his face felt all of a sudden.

"Ah! Hinata! Just as expected from an Ultimate!" Komaeda squeezed his arm a little, pulling him closer. "I knew a little despair like this could not defeat the flame of hope that resides within you, even the silly little words from someone as ordinary as me were enough to lift your spirits up!" By this point, Komaeda had very well invaded his personal space and Hinata continuously tried to back away attempting to reclaim some of that space.

"H-Hey! Back off!" He tumbled over his own words. "And you're totally wrong!"

Komaeda complied, letting go of his arm, and blinked at him in genuine confusion. "I am? What about?"

"You're not ordinary, Komaeda." He left the statement hang in the air for a bit so it could sink in before elaborating on it. He felt a pang of satisfaction when Komaeda's eyes opened like plates and even, dare he claim, looked a teensy bit flustered. "You're an Ultimate just like the rest of us. You may not think highly of your talent but I think it is quite special. But besides all that, you've helped a guy like me get through this crazy-ass day. T-This might sound kind of silly, but it's thanks to you that I was able to keep my feet on the ground today and, you know, not go totally insane or something. That's no ordinary feat in and of itself, you know." He finished his speech, already half regretting having been so honest towards the end there, but what was done was done and he couldn't take any of it back, maybe he didn't even want to.

Komaeda stared at him dumbfounded for what felt like forever and then, out of the blue, gave a throaty laugh, one that only served to make Hinata's cheeks burn a deeper red. "Hey! Don't laugh!" He demanded, throwing an embarrassed punch at Komaeda's arm.

"Sorry, sorry!" It took him a bit of effort to quiet down his own laughter, but he eventually managed. "I'm not making fun of you or anything I promise, I was just thinking that you truly are amazing, Hinata." Once again, it was impossible not to get flustered at that kind of praise. "I have never been complimented like that in my life, it truly makes me happy. Thank you." Komaeda's tone ended much quieter, tender. It made Hinata feel like it wasn't just obligatory gratefulness, but that he meant every word, and the soft smile on his lips only reassured him of that impression.

His left hand twitched. Something about that smile had made him want to... hold his hand, continue whispering quiet reassurances. Tenderly squeeze it to emphasize how determined he was to get out of that island with him and everybody else, share a little bit of the hope Komaeda had granted him so far until he saved him as much as Komaeda had saved him that day. Grab his face with both hands and look deep into his eyes until Komaeda had no choice but to lean forward and--

"Don't mention it." He settled for instead.

It was only after he let out an embarrassingly big yawn, was laughed at again, playfully punched Komaeda again, waved his goodbyes to him and started walking towards his cottage that he noticed two things.

One, his face was starting to hurt from smiling too much. 

Two, his heart was definitely about to jump out of his chest and he **REFUSED** to think about why at the moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~dingdongrumba theater~
> 
> And that's it for day one! As you can tell, this is going to be a rather, uh, quick burn probably, I've always thought these two wouldn't take all that long to start developing feelings for each other, I mean, Komaeda is pretty much canonly in love with Hinata and he only spent, what? 19 days in the Neo World Program? Jesus Christ Nagito you're so gay. 
> 
> Oh, by the way, in case I didn't make it clear, Komaeda was staring at the old building, already forming the first drafts of his plan in his head ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Kudos/comments are appreciated but I'd love to hear about what other komahina moments you think could've happened during the game even more!!


	2. Under the fading sunset light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He sighed a little louder than he would've liked. Well, guess there was no point in trying to deny it any longer: he was undebatably attracted to Nagito Komaeda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't know, I made a little comic based on a scene from the previous chapter! Check it out at https://riuke-doodles.tumblr.com/post/187317155075/hopeless-huh-you-really-think-so-of
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter! It was quite tricky haha

Falling asleep after that was surprisingly easy.

Not like it made waking up any more pleasant, thanks to Monokuma's obnoxious ass announcement and then later his ridiculous "Monokuma plush search", but Hinata imagined his comfort wasn't exactly high on the mastermind's priority list.

He walked out of his cottage, ran into a panicked Souda, and continued to walk towards the restaurant.

He felt surprisingly hungry that morning, considering he wasn't feeling exactly chipper at the moment. How could he? He was trapped in an uninhabited island being coerced into murdering someone in order to escape.

Still, he wasn't feeling as... awful as he would've expected from himself. The situation was fucked up, there was no denying that, but deep down he knew he could not give up so easily, not without putting up a fight.

Was Komaeda's determination starting to rub off on him? Hinata thought that could be possible.

He felt a strange urge to talk to him when he saw the pale, slender boy amongst the rest of the group in the hotel restaurant. There wasn't really... anything in particular he had to say to him, though, so he simply stayed there and listened to the group's conversation attentively.

After declaring Togami to be the team's leader (or rather, Togami forcing himself into that role) and getting nowhere trying to solve the mystery of the ominous countdown at Jabberwock Park, Hinata ended up feeling notoriously drained. It wasn't even physical exhaustion, it just felt like his brain needed a break from all the weirdness and stress of the situation. Letting out a sigh, Hinata dragged his feet all the way back to his cottage and collapsed onto the bed.

An hour or so passed before Hinata finally grew sick of pointlessly speculating in the loneliness of his room. He was about to try and find out what kind of programming or purpose did the TV in his cottage had when a knock on the door sprung him out of the bed.

"Goooood afternoon, Hajime!" Mioda cheerfully greeted with a comically perfect salute.

"Oh, hi Mioda, is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"No, silly! Do you plan on staying in your room all day? You're gonna catch zombie disease if you don't come out!" She winked with her usual happy-go-lucky attitude.

"Z-zombie disease? Is that a thing?"

"Of course it is! Your skin goes all pale and greenish and purple circles form under your eyes and your shoulders start to slouch!" Mioda accompanied her announcement with dramatic, panicked flailing.

"Ah... I see..." There was no way that was a real disease but Hinata felt like he understood what Mioda meant with it. She was just warning him not to become a hobo in his own room, basically.

"Anyway! The rest are waiting for you in the restaurant, Hajime! You never came so Ibuki was sent to come look for you!"

"The restaurant? What's happening there?"

"Lunch, duh!" Mioda stated, playfully sticking out her tongue. "You do gotta eat, y'know!"

"Oh... Lunch, yeah, sure, I'll be there in a minute."

"Don't take long!" She didn't wait for an answer and enthusiastically waved before taking her leave.

Hinata watched her skip on her tippy toes towards the restaurant for a second before returning to his cottage to fetch his shoes, mulling over Mioda's eccentric antics.

Damn, it was already lunchtime and he had virtually done nothing all day but mop around in his room. So the rest were hanging out and he didn't even notice...? Damn it, how could he expect to work together with them if he didn't even make an effort to get to know them? He was supposedly all about uniting forces and overcoming despair together now, wasn't he?

Making a mental note to stop being so antisocial in the future, Hinata left the emptiness of his cottage and joined everyone at lunch.

The scene was livelier than he had expected and that only served to make him feel sillier for being so reclusive before. Everyone (except Kuzuryuu, unsurprisingly) was enjoying the light snacks Hanamura had prepared, cheerfully exchanging anecdotes and friendly banter. Hinata listened attentively to the chatter and did his best to chime in every once in a while with a funny comment of his own, actually kind of enjoying himself despite the situation. Guess that was to be expected of high school students, they had the power to goof around and have a good time despite the fucked up circumstances.

Hinata lightly shook his head, deciding to rid his head of such thoughts, for now, at least. He glanced around the room taking in everyone's joyful expressions when his ears picked up on one particular boy's laughter.

Komaeda was sitting alone on a table nearby the rest of the group. Not far enough to look separated from them but just enough to not draw attention to himself. From this angle, Nidai and Koizumi were partly blocking his view but he could still see that Komaeda was attentively listening and, from the looks of it, was amused by the chatter.

Dismissing him, Hinata went back to paying attention to the conversation, but... Now he was hyper-aware of Komaeda's presence a couple of feet away from him. Every time someone said something funny and everyone laughed, Komaeda's light chuckle seemed to resonate somehow louder than even Nidai's uproarious laughter. He caught himself glancing over in his direction several times, accidentally checking whether something had made him smile or not (not that he ever admitted that, even to himself).

It looked like Komaeda was purposefully distancing himself from the group. Was he shy? Or maybe just insecure? By the way he acted and talked to everyone yesterday it didn't seem like that was the case... Should he go talk to him to make him feel included? Maybe it was better to let him get close on his own, in his own time. But what if Komaeda didn't know how to join in? And moreover, why was he so concerned about Komaeda's social needs in the first place? It wasn't any of his business to begin w-

"Hellooooo? Earth to Hinata!" Souda's hand waved in front of his face, effectively pulling him back to reality. "We were asking you if you wanted to come take pictures with us next to the airplanes."

"Huh?" At least half the room was staring at him like he had just grown a second head. Damn, he must've been completely distracted for a long time if he had no idea what they were talking about now. "Oh, um, uh... sure? The airplanes?"

"Yeah, you know, the ones with no engines? Were you even listening, man?" Souda sighed dramatically. "They won't help us in escaping this island but they'll make good props for some sick looking photos. Koizumi even agreed to it."

"Right, right. Pictures." He remembered the promise he made to himself earlier. "Sure, let's do it."

Just as everyone started agreeing to head to the airport the loud screeching of a chair being dragged on the floor rang across the restaurant and Komaeda's slender figure emerged above the rest.

"That sounds like a lot of fun, you guys!" He started cheerfully, drawing attention to himself for the first time that day. "I'm feeling a little tired, so I'm going to pass, but I hope you all have fun!" With that and a wave, Komaeda then proceeded to walk out the restaurant, leaving everyone else behind.

Nobody thought much of it and they all spent a good time taking pictures at the airport. Souda making silly heroic poses next to the airplanes with Nidai, Mioda and Hanamura; Tsumiki, Nanami, Sonia and Saionji posing together; Tanaka, Togami and Pekoyama not taking any pictures but still looking at the others with amusement; and of course, Koizumi who was tasked as the official photographer for the photoshoot.

Everyone had a good time and so did Hinata, even when Komaeda just wouldn't leave his thoughts alone. Perhaps he really was the introvert type that got tired easily from too much social interaction, after all. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get Nagito Komaeda away from his thoughts and he probably wouldn't any time soon if he didn't hang out with him.

It wouldn't be weird, would it? To go hang out with him for a bit now? Ah, perhaps he really just wanted to be alone and Hinata would be inconveniencing him if he went to bother him. Maybe he was worried about the killing game and didn't want to become somebody's target? No, that seemed unlikely, Komaeda didn't look like the type to be worried about anyone killing him, it was almost like he blindly trusted everyone already.

These thoughts swirled around his head even after the photo session had finished. In the end, he decided to not go look for Komaeda since he had asked to be left alone in the first place. Fortunately, Nanami was kind enough to invite him to hang out after the rest had gone off to do their own things, and Hinata spent a pleasant afternoon in the company of the Ultimate Gamer.

Nevertheless, soon enough Nanami became sleepy (again) and Hinata was once again left alone with his thoughts.

He had just started contemplating again on inspecting his TV when he caught a white and green blur pass outside his window. His head immediately perked up and he was able to look out the frame just in time to see Komaeda enter his cottage.

He had about 30 seconds of self-restraint before finally saying 'fuck it' and hurriedly leaving his cottage.

Komaeda's small look of confusion when opening his door was probably justified. After all, Hinata must've looked rather unsure of himself despite being the one to have knocked on Komaeda's door in the first place.

"Ah, Hinata." Komaeda blinked. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh, I was just, um... Do you want to hang out?" Hinata fidgeted.

"Ah! You're inviting me to spend time with you?" Komaeda's entire face lit up and he brought his palms together in delight. "I'm so happy you'd even ask someone like me! Of course I do wanna hang out, did you have anything in mind?"

Hinata smiled in relief at the boy's response. Komaeda actually seemed genuinely excited to spend time with him, he felt silly now for having been so concerned of looking like a nuisance earlier.

"Well... There isn't a lot to do in a place like this, but how about we head over to the beach? I guess it's a bit late to go into the water, but we can play around in the sand or something." His plan sounded lame even to himself as soon as it left his mouth. Were two guys hanging out alone on the beach weird? Would Komaeda consider it that way?

"That sounds splendid!" He replied almost instantly. "Let's head over there then, we should make a sandcastle together! I've always wanted to do one of those!"

Without further delay, the two of them walked together to the beach where they had first arrived. The sun was already starting to set and it basked the entire scenery in a poetic orange and red hue, all accompanied by swirling clouds and the first couple of dimly lit stars. The sea waves weren't big, but they still sounded surprisingly loud in the quiet of the evening. All in all, the setting was so beautiful and calming, that Hinata felt a little guilty for feeling at ease in it.

Their sand castle crumbled twice before they finally succeeded at keeping it standing. They both cheered at their accomplishment, admiring their work, before agreeing to go look for seashells to give the finishing touches to their fortress.

As Hinata was scavenging the sand, his eye caught the odd palm tree that was Monokuma's Monomono machine. He scowled at it, wondering for a second if the thing was even worth existing in the first place. After some pondering, Hinata ultimately shrugged and took out a couple of the monocoins in his pocket and fed them to the slot.

A bit of food, some junk and some strange objects were his rewards, not like he expected much better from a game that Monokuma set up himself. He didn't think he'd find many uses for all this garbage so he'd probably end up giving most of them away, maybe the others would appreciate some of these objects better than he would.

Resigned, he opened the last plastic egg he had bought and got...

He turned around and spotted Komaeda almost at the edge of the beach, still gathering seashells, and promptly began running in his direction.

"Hey, Komaeda!" Hinata quickly caught up to him, pulling the boy out of his task to pay full attention to him.

"What is it, Hinata?"

"You really admire Hope's Peak Academy, right?" He looked taken aback for a second before nodding.

"Yeah, you could say that, why the sudden question?"

"Here!" Hinata energetically opened his palm and showed Komaeda the object he'd been holding in it: a Hope's Peak Academy ring.

"H-Hinata, this is... How did you get this?" The look of astonishment in Komaeda's face was enough to justify that weird, stupid machine's entire existence, or so Hinata decided.

"Well, I got it in the Monomono machine over there, but I remembered you said you were a fan of Hope's Peak Academy and thought you'd probably appreciate this way more than me." Komaeda seemed to be too busy to take the ring so Hinata simply took his hand and shoved the ring in his grip. "Just take it, I'm sure you'll take good care of it." He looked up to meet Komaeda's eyes and gave a smile.

"You're... giving this to me? As a gift?"

"Yeah, of course. Uh, unless you don't want it, I guess rings aren't everyone's styl-"

"No, thanks! I'll keep it!" He swiftly slid the jewelry on his left hand's ring finger and smiled at it, admiring how it shyly shined in the fading sunset light. The way he stared at it reminded Hinata of how a girl would act after being proposed to, but he quickly got rid of that accidentally offensive image, it was starting to feel kind of weird to have gifted a guy a ring now. "It's beautiful, Hinata. Thank you, I'll take good care of it." The response pulled him out of his thoughts again and he gave a small nod in response. "If I get one of these I'll make sure to give it to you so we can match!"

Oh god, matching rings. "Th-there's no need for that, I'm glad you like it. Um, would you like to finish decorating the castle before we run out of light?"

"Let's do that, ah, don't worry, I made sure to pick the prettiest ones!"

They chatted amicably the entire time about nothing in particular, not even noticing when they stopped working on the castle and just sat next to each other on the sand, the sun being long gone by that point. There was a full moon that night and the stars shined bright so even though it was nighttime they were perfectly able to see each other.

It took Hinata a bit of time to realize the ambiance was starting to feel rather... romantic. His palms started sweating, that hadn't been his intention at all but now it was hard to not be hyper-aware of that fact now that the thought had crept its way inside his brain.

"Hinata? Are you feeling okay?" Komaeda said after a moment or two of silence.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm alright, what makes you ask that?"

Komaeda gave a smile and a shrugged his shoulders casually. "You looked worried about something is all. Though, being worried in a situation like this is normal, I guess." He laughed, relaxed and carefree, like he had been from the very beginning.

In truth, the longer he spent with Komaeda the more Hinata realized how much his presence had helped him since arriving to this island. The same feeling he had experienced last night when talking to him resurfaced and filled his chest with a pleasant warmth.

From this distance, under the moonlight, Komaeda somehow looked even more... delicate than usual. His pale, slender complexion and soft-looking hair seemed even more fragile and that only served to make him look... prettier, dare he say.

God, that laugh...

Why did his laughter suddenly make him so... happy?

He sighed a little louder than he would've liked. Well, guess there was no point in trying to deny it any longer: he was undebatably attracted to Nagito Komaeda. Guess he shouldn't be surprised, really, Komaeda had been incredibly kind to him from the start and he was _definitely_ nice to look at.

He wasn't exactly inexperienced with being attracted to guys but his previous man crushes had never been so... intense, so to speak. He had never been opposed to the hypothetical idea of being with a guy but up till now he'd never felt any desire to be with one. He was hesitant to call himself bisexual in the past and he still wasn't sure what to really label himself as but regardless, there was definitely an attraction forming towards the boy next to him on that beach.

Developing a crush under circumstances like these was incredibly inappropriate but it's not like Hinata was doing it on purpose. Komaeda seemed to enjoy his company, perhaps if Hinata played his cards right something could happen between them, but... This was hardly the ideal situation in which to attempt anything with anybody.

A second sigh escaped his lips, reaching the conclusion that it was probably better to just ignore his silly little crush, at least until they got out of that island. He didn't even know if Komaeda was okay with guys anyway, let alone with someone like himself.

"Is everything okay?" Hinata was popped back into reality for the umpteenth time that day, waking up to see Komaeda leaning forward and getting closer in the process, searching his face.

"Ah, um, yeah I just..." He quickly stumbled for words. "I was just thinking of all the ways you've helped me so far... Th-Thank you" It wasn't a complete lie, or so he told himself, it wasn't as if he could be honest about what he had really been thinking anyway.

"Oh, no no." Komaeda quickly protested, waving his hands in the air. "You said that yesterday too, but I just can't accept it, I haven't done anything!"

His modesty was adorable and Hinata couldn't help but laugh. "It's okay, Komaeda, just take the damn compliment."

At that he seemed to comply and returned a smile of his own. "Well... Okay, I will, even if it's not true. It makes me happy you really think I helped you, though."

"Pssh" He let out a scoff. "You're too hard on yourself, give yourself a little credit."

"Ahahaha! You're too kind, Hinata, what kind of credit could I give to myself? I mean, my talent is just having luck, it's not like I worked hard to achieve it and it's not really an ability I can actively use. I'm basically as useful to you guys as a cheap lucky charm you can buy on the store."

His self-deprecating words were slightly concerning, yet he said them in the most light-hearted tone. Like he had come to terms with it a long time ago, like it didn't even bother him anymore, like he was almost... glad it was that way.

"Hey, it's possible my talent might be even more meaningless, you know?" He tried, desperately doing his best to lift up the conversation.

"Th-That's not true! I'm sure you have a wonderful talent, Hinata. You wouldn't have been accepted into Hope's Peak Academy if it wasn't for that!" It was kind of cute, really, how Komaeda was so quick to put himself down but got so upset if he even _suggested_ the possibility that he might not be as special as Komaeda hoped him to be.

"Heh, well... Thanks, that does make me feel better. See? You really are helpful."

"Ah, don't say that." The boy bashfully rubbed the back of his neck. God, damn it, he had it bad for him. Now that he had admitted his attraction everything Komaeda did seemed 10 times cuter. "Oh! I know! Let's try guessing what your talent might be, Hinata."

"Haha... Well I guess it wouldn't hurt to try..."

"Let's see... What kind of talent would suit Hinata..." He thought out loud rubbing his chin absentmindedly. "How about Ultimate Serenity?"

Hinata pulled a face. "What ever did I do to make you think I could have that kind of talent? How would that be useful in the first place?"

"Is that what you think?" He chuckled. "I think the ability to bring serenity to people is pretty admirable, though. Then, how about the Ultimate Clumsy student?" That was clearly meant to be taken as a joke, but Komaeda's straight yet cheerful expression almost made it feel like that had been a serious suggestion.

"Ahaha..." He awkwardly laughed anyway. "That might definitely be more accurate."

"Ah! Could it be, the Ultimate Scatterbrain?" Komaeda suggested with an amused expression, now definitely succeeding in getting a rise out of Hinata.

"H-hey! Isn't that going a little too far!? I don't want that kind of talent!"

"Sorry, sorry!" He chuckled, putting his hands in the air in sign of surrendering. "Don't get mad, that was just a little joke! Hmm..." So he said, but then flashed another playful grin. "Oh! I know! The Ultimate Tsun-tsun hair!"

"Th-that's not a talent at all!" Hinata's face heated up at the double meaning. "And what the hell are you trying to say with that!?"

His reaction seemed to finally break Komaeda's barely concealed stoicness, not being able to hold himself back anymore from doubling over his own laughter, apparently still trying to regain a little bit of dignity but doing a pretty terrible job at it. His cheeks were starting to redden from all the laughing and Hinata couldn't help but smile a little despite the teasing.

"I didn't mean to offend you, I swear." He finally mustered after taking a while to control his own laughter. "Well, regardless, I'm sure you have a very special talent, Hinata, one that's brimming with hope."

"Pfft, you're just saying that." He dismissed, still not able to wipe the grin off his own face.

"I'm not, really, I truly believe in the talent that resides within all of the Ultimates, including yourself, Hinata, even if you don't remember what your talent is."

It was probably the sincerity that Komaeda said those words with, but even Hinata couldn't help but feel reassured by such an affirmation. His chest felt lighter and he seriously couldn't get rid of his own damn smile. Once again, Komaeda made everything a lot more bearable, just by being himself.

It's true that it was a minor worry in comparison, but Hinata had been feeling self-conscious about his apparent lack of talent from the very beginning. It wasn't as important as literally everything else that was happening around them, but Komaeda was able to make him feel better even about something like that. What was worse was that he didn't even seem to be doing it on purpose or under false sentiments, he was only voicing his honest opinion. It was probably way too early to tell, but Komaeda struck him as a very genuine person that didn't try to mask his feelings or thoughts. How true was really that impression, he was yet to find out.

Shortly after that they went back to their respective cottages and Hinata was left alone to reminisce on the events of the day and the evening he spent with Komaeda.

What other aspects of Komaeda would he be able to witness? Hinata wanted to find out more and more about the boy, get to know him better and hopefully become good friends with him, even if he couldn't deny the fact that he would not mind being a little bit more than that.

What kind of person was Nagito Komaeda, really? He was eager to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~dingdongrumba theater~
> 
> ;D HOPE this chapter was to you guys' satisfaction (pun intended haha I'm so funny) as you can probably tell, their little outing was heavily based on Komaeda's first time event, with a couple of my own little twists. 
> 
> As for the Tsun-Tsun Hair bit, here's what the wikia has to say about it:
> 
> In Danganronpa 2, during his Free Time Events, he suggests Hajime's unknown talent could be "tsuntsun hair", referring to both his aloof personality and spiky hair. This was translated as "Ultimate Spiky Hair" in the localization, and while it's not incorrect, it loses the additional joke regarding Hajime's personality. 
> 
> I couldn't NOT include that somehow


	3. Outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata ain't as slick as he originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short and not a lot happens cause it was getting too long so I decided to split it into two! Next chapter is almost done and a LOT more exciting, though! ;) Expect it in like 1 or 2 days :D

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck.

Alright, okay, talking stuffed animals? Weird as hell but everybody else could see them so he wasn't hallucinating them. Inexplicably appearing in a deserted tropical island after entering a seemingly harmless classroom at Hope's Peak Academy? He had already pinched his arm several times so he might as well accept this wasn't a dream. Giant, scary-looking, armed to the brim robots? He wasn't going to poke them to find out if they were real or not, thank you very much. A goddamn killing game where he was forced to murder his fellow classmates to escape the island? Well that was just the cherry on top so why the hell not.

But now...

Now he was supposed to believe his memories from being a Hope's Peak Academy student were wiped out!?

Somehow, for some reason, that was just harder to accept than all of the previous happenings so far. To think he'd already lived the high school life and already knew the people he was living with on the island was... was... just stupid to think about! It was obviously a lie! It had to be a lie! There was no way he'd forget such an important period of his life!

As expected, nobody was willing to accept such a ridiculous suggestion, everyone turned in for the night after Monokuma's "comedy act".

There was no way somebody would believe that lie and commit murder to get those memories back, right?

...Right?

...

The next morning everyone was taken aback by Togami's sudden organization for a party. Cooking and cleaning duties were quickly assigned to Hanamura and Komaeda respectively, and while it was an... odd proposition, Hinata wasn't exactly _against_ the idea of a party. There was no use in protesting anyway, Togami would probably just pull the leader card on him and that would be the end of the discussion.

Shrugging the subject off, he decided to simply kill time until the party started. He allowed himself to feel a little disappointed that Komaeda had landed with cleaning duty. For the past few days he'd spent some (reasonable amount of) time with Komaeda and those moments had always been rather pleasant. He did his best trying not to give away his attraction but he couldn't help but steal a couple of glances here and there when Komaeda wasn't looking. Spending time with him only confirmed how nice it was to be around Komaeda, since his sole aura served to calm Hinata's inner turmoils, at least a little bit.

Well, there was no use in brooding over it like a little kid, so Hinata decided to spend his free time looking around the ranch.

He wasn't surprised to find Tanaka there, what WAS surprising was seeing him hanging out with Koizumi, of all people. That was a truly unlikely duo.

"Oh, hello Hinata! Came to take a breather?" Koizumi cheerfully greeted, lowering her camera, while Tanaka just gave him a small nod of acknowledgment.

"Ah, yeah... Didn't feel like going to the beach today, so."

Koizumi giggled casually as she picked up a chick that was running around nearby. "I bet, must not be as fun all alone, right?"

"Huh?" His head crooked, confused. "What do you-"

"Koizumi, you are not holding him right." Tanaka interrupted by taking the chick from the redhead's hands and gently cupping it in his own. "Here, you see, you need to make a nest with your palms in order to prove you do not have evil intentions, this way you are more likely to be trusted." He explained.

"Oh, I see! That makes sense, Tanaka, I didn't know that."

"Tch." Tanaka's smug grin scoffed as he adopted a dramatic posture. "It's normal that a simple mortal would not know of the psychology of demon beasts like this one. Don't worry, fiend, I'm sure neither this infant nor his mother will desire to seek vengeance towards you."

"Well that's a... relief."

Just as the words left Koizumi's mouth, all three of them caught glimpse of Nidai's imposing figure walking towards the ranch.

"Ooooh! But if it isn't Tanaka, Koizumi and Hinata!" He loudly greeted as he approached the group, successfully scaring off the chick Tanaka was holding.

"Hello, Nidai." Hinata started as the rest gave their respective greetings, once again surprised by the combination of people. "Huh, I really didn't expect to run into so many people here, what brings you here?"

Nidai gave one of his signature uproarious laughters before answering. "Unfortunately, I'm not here to pass the time or anything! I came here to run an errand for Hanamura!"

"An errand for Hanamura?" Tanaka unexpectedly chimed in. "What kind of errand are you speaking of, mortal?"

"Well! We're having a party, aren't we?" Nidai began his explanation as he casually approached the cow that was closest to them. "We need good food for it! So I volunteered to provide Hanamura with some ingredients!"

For a brief moment Hinata was able to see Tanaka's shoulders tense up underneath his scarf, but it was gone as suddenly as it had appeared. He was pretty sure he'd seen him eating steaks and the like with them in the restaurant, but he supposed it was only natural he would still have mixed feelings about it, especially having been in close proximity to what was apparently going to be their dinner very soon.

Nobody said anything for a while until they saw Nidai coming back with the now leashed cow, obediently following Nidai, completely unaware of its fate. "How about you guys!? What are you up to? It's odd to find all three of you in here!"

"Ah, Tanaka was helping me become more familiar with the animals, since I'm not really good with them." Koizumi gently explained. "I was thinking taking pictures of other living beings aside from people would help me improve my talent."

"I see, I see." Nidai nodded in agreement. "That sounds productive! Very well thought out, Koizumi!" His encouragement was heartwarming, if a little exaggerated. "How about you, Hinata!?"

"Huh!?" Nidai's raised voice caught him off guard a little, causing him to stumble over his words. "Uh, well... I- uh..."

"Komaeda has cleaning duty, remember?" Koizumi interrupted him again before he could even form a response. Wait... what? Why was Koizumi responding for him? And what the hell did Komaeda have to do with any of this?

"Eh?"

"Ahahahahahaha! You're right! I had totally forgotten!"

"Huh!?" And now it seemed like Nidai totally understood whatever Koizumi meant with that? What exactly was going on in here? He was starting to feel like the odd man out since apparently he was the only one not caught up. "What are you guys-"

"Well, I have to do this somewhere else for Hanamura and I better get started so he can have the banquet on time! See ya guys at the party!" Both Nidai's arm and the cow's tail waved goodbye as the Ultimate Team Manager walked away with the soon-to-be dinner.

Try as he might, Hinata still didn't get it, but when he turned around to face the remaining pair again, they had turned their attention back to the farm animals.

"Uh... Koizumi?" His gut twisted a little, for some reason he had a bad feeling about this.

"Yes?" She replied absentmindedly, still looking down at the chicks.

"Why... did you mention Komaeda, all of a sudden...?"

"Eh?" Her head snapped back up, fully focusing on Hinata now. "What do you-? Oh, god, don't tell me..." Koizumi's lips slowly started to turn into a grin. "Was-was it supposed to be a secret? Oh my god, I'm so sorry." She didn't look sorry at all.

"A s-secret? What are you talking about?" There was something about Koizumi right now that made Hinata feel like he had just missed the punchline of a really great joke and everyone was laughing at his face.

"Oh dear it's even worse than I thought" She giggled. "_You_ don't even realize what you're doing, do you?"

"Doing what!? What am I missing here!?"

"I also have to admit this strange tongue you demons are speaking in is foreign to me..."

"Oh Hinata..." She sympathetically placed a hand on top of his shoulder in an almost condescending manner. Seriously, why was Koizumi suddenly treating him like a pitiful lost puppy or something!? "Ever since we arrived at this island you've been clinging to Komaeda like a monkey and making gaga eyes at him. I-I thought it was very obvious by now."

"That's-! I-I don't-!"

Hinata's cheeks reddened a deep pink at the confirmation of his bad premonition. Was... was that true? Had Hinata really been going after Komaeda so much? And more importantly... was it really that obvious? He wasn't sure he wanted everyone to know of his, uh, preference towards Komaeda, especially not if Komaeda himself ended up finding out about that...

"Well, apparently you weren't even aware of it, so it's not like you could have kept it a secret." Koizumi sighed light-heartedly. "You might wanna be more careful about it, though, if you don't want the whole class to catch up on it." Hinata was about to stutter a defensive comeback when Tanaka's wrapped arm appeared on his field of vision, just before he noticed the Ultimate Breeder making a dramatic pose.

"You mortals! Stop ignoring the Dark Overlord! Explain this matter to me at once! Koizumi, what is this thing you keep speaking of!?"

"Jeez, Tanaka." She rolled her eyes. "About how Hinata and Komaeda have been pining on each other since day one!"

"Th-That's not-!"

"WHAT!?" Tanaka exclaimed, startling even his own hamsters. "Hinata, you fiend! Is this true!?"

"It's not!"

It was.

"God, Tanaka, you didn't even notice? I swear, boys are so bad with this stuff." She held her head in her own hand, sighing in exasperation. Damn, if someone should be sighing right now it should be him! "It's not like you guys need to freak out so much, if Hinata and Komaeda are attracted to each other that's totally fine and it should be supported 100%. Rest assured Hinata, I will be rooting for the both of you."

"That's not the goddamn issue!" Being six feet under was probably less painful than this.

After successfully killing him from embarrassment, Koizumi and Tanaka invited him to stay and play with the ranch animals while Tanaka rambled about them and the proper way to care for them. Even when Koizumi had pretty much forcefully pulled him out of the closet, Hinata was still able to enjoy himself for a while before finally all three of them parted ways to do their own things.

He was surprised to find out he'd spent a lot longer in the ranch than he originally thought. He felt exhausted, but laying around in his room doing nothing didn't sound appealing at all, so he ultimately opted to take a break in the restaurant booths for a while.

The breeze circulating in and out of the restaurant felt nice against Hinata's skin and it took him about five minutes to doze off to a gentle sleep, his restlessness about the party temporarily forgotten.

To him it felt like he'd only closed his eyes for a couple of minutes, but when he regained full consciousness again the sun was completely gone, giving way to the moon and the crickets to come out.

He checked the time, half afraid he might have overslept and the party had already started: a little past 8 pm, good, so he still had plenty of time. A relieved sigh escaped his mouth, he wasn't really interested in finding out what would happen if he was late and Togami got mad at him for it, it was probably smarter to be on the Ultimate Affluent Progeny's good side.

_"I wonder if Komaeda is already done with the cleaning...?"_

The thought crept into his head without his permission. No matter what, all his thoughts always came back to that guy, like his mind just refused to be interested in anything but Komaeda, like it didn't care about anything else. God, crushes were so inconvenient.

Well, it wouldn't hurt to indulge in it a little bit, would it? The party was going to start very soon, maybe Komaeda needed some help...? That's right, he could go and check if he needed some help with something to have everything ready on time... Yeah, he should lend a hand, right? That would be the kind thing to do, to help out with the cleaning...

Now fully awake, Hinata swiftly sprinted to the old building where the party was meant to be held in a couple of hours, quietly hoping he wouldn't run into anyone on his way there and have to explain himself.

The building was... about what he expected, old, broken, moldy and wore down, but despite that, it was definitely looking cleaner than it should've been. The floorboards looked as clean as they probably could, the reception desk didn't have a trace of dust on it, there were no cobwebs in sight and there was even the strong aroma of floral cleaner in the air. When Komaeda said he was good at cleaning, he really was not joking. Hinata supposed that made sense, since Komaeda's opinions on himself tended to be humble, it could be expected of him to be actually good at the one thing he seemed to be confident on.

He walked down the short corridor and quickly found Komaeda energetically mopping the floor, his face was covered in sweat and the palms of his hands were visibly red even from the angle he was looking them from. He must have been working really hard since that morning, and he looked exhausted, but even in that condition Komaeda's smile didn't falter, almost looking grateful to have been given this arduous job.

Hinata's presence didn't go unnoticed for long, though, Komaeda immediately stopped mopping as soon as he caught the other boy in his vision. An even brighter smile appeared in his sweat covered face, cleaning it up a little with the back of his sleeve.

"Hello, Hinata! What brings you here so early? The party is not starting for another two hours"

"Oh, well, I was just thinking... Nothing really, I wasn't doing anything so I thought I could stop by to see if there was anything I could help with?"

"Ahaha! You mean with the cleaning? No, no!" He cheerfully dismissed, waving his hands in the air. "I lost the drawing so it's not fair if you get involved in it too, Hinata. Besides, I'm almost done, anyway."

"Oh, but, I really don't mind-"

"Komaeda? Is somebody else with you?" A quiet voice emerged from the door down the hallway, shortly before Hanamura's small frame appeared from that same room. "Oh, Hinata!" He exclaimed once he saw him.

"Hey Hanamura, how, ah, is the cooking going?"

The little chef flashed a very surprised expression for a moment, before seemingly recomposing himself and switching back to his usual grin. "Hmm-mmh! It's going splendid, thank you! I can't finish it all with a lot of anticipation since the food will go cold, but everything's going according to plan, yes." He nodded to himself, clearly satisfied with the results of his own efforts. "Ah, Komaeda, I see you're... almost done?"

Komaeda flashed a bright smile. "Yup! Just gotta finish the floor and the place will be pretty much ready."

"Good, good..." He fidgeted. "Ah! You must be exhausted, perhaps you and Hinata would like some... mm-hm, appetizers, before the party starts?"

"Huh?" Hinata blinked twice. "Oh, no, but I didn't even-"

"It's fine, it's fine! Just consider yourself lucky you get to taste Hanamura's excellently prepared snacks before everybody else! Your look of gratitude will be more than enough thanks, don't worry." His cocky expression gave testament of his undeniably big ego, but now that it had been presented like that he wasn't sure if he could reject the offer.

"That's right, Hinata" Komaeda interjected. "Since I'm almost done, why don't you take a little break with me while we wait for the party to start?"

Komaeda smiled.

And that was the end of Hajime Hinata.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~dingdongrumba theater~
> 
> Did you guys know you can find Nekomaru in the ranch right before the party starts in chapter 1? Neat, huh? 
> 
> Resisting gravity chapter 3 more like Hinata is outed by everyone amirite
> 
> To be truthful, Nekomaru doesn't know the full extent of it, he noticed Hinata and Komaeda hanging out a lot but he doesn't realize it's more than platonic lol, really Mahiru is just one of those people that can tell people's feelings from a mile away. Meanwhile, Gundham had absolutely no clue, bless his heart.


	4. The future looks bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, maybe... this meant they could get closer from now on, know each other on a deeper level, at least that was how Hinata felt at that moment.

Hanamura cheerfully disappeared back into the room he had just come from and shortly after brought a plate with plenty of sandwiches, fruit, cheese, and other light snacks elegantly placed on top of the fancy plate. He excused himself, saying he couldn't rest with them until all the food was ready and went back inside what Hinata now assumed to be the kitchen.

It still smelled strongly of floor cleaner in there, so the two remaining boys opted to take their break outside.

Komaeda plopped down on top of the staircase leading to the old building, laying his whole torso on the edges of the stairs and bringing up his arms underneath his neck as if laying down on the hard wood was comfortable at all. Regardless, he let out a long, but apparently happy sigh.

"Tired?" Hinata questioned as he sat himself down on the same step as Komaeda, carefully making sure not to drop any of the items on the plate he was still carrying.

"Haha, yup! That sure was a workout, it's been a while since I've had to clean such a dirty place!"

"You could've... asked for help or something, I feel kinda bad I didn't come to help you out earlier."

"Oh, no no, Hinata, don't feel guilty over something like that, I lost the drawing, and it's not like I'm any good at anything else, so I'm happy I was useful for something."

There he went with his low self-esteem again. At first, it was kind of endearing, then it became depressing and pitiful, now Hinata just felt downright frustrated and even a little mad. "Jeez Komaeda, you say stuff like that too easily, I'm sure you must have other abilities, stop putting yourself down all the time!"

"A-Ah..." Komaeda's brow furrowed and he looked lost for a little bit, as if he wasn't used to people refuting him on his self-deprecating comments with such force. "Well, I... O-Okay, I'm sorry, I think."

"If you get it then it's fine." He replied with a mouthful of sandwich. "Really, I don't understand why you talk about yourself like that all the time, you're one of the kindest people on this island and you've been supportive of everyone since we arrived."

"Hm-mh..." Komaeda's gaze softened, a shy smile appearing across his lips accompanied by a light blush. It took Hinata a couple of seconds to realize he'd let some of his true thoughts slip through the filter. Well, it should be fine, the guy needed to hear it, anyway. "Kind, huh?"

"Y-yeah, so stop it with the self-deprecating bullshit."

Komaeda simply nodded slowly and caught one of the apple slices from the plate, tossing it inside his mouth. A calming silence settled between the two of them, making the singing of the crickets that much louder in the dark of the night. Everyone else seemed to be either chilling in their cottage or somehow vanished from the island altogether.

The quietness made Hinata hyper-aware of the moment he was living in. The wind was quite strong that day, and everything sounded louder than it did a minute ago; the cicadas, the palm leaves rustling against each other, the sea waves in the distance, the motor of the pool filter running. His senses felt like they’d been abruptly enhanced, each unique ingredient of his sandwich, each individual splinter in the floorboard beneath him, everything became undeniably present and real. It all grounded him to the situation he was in all over again.

The killing game, his imprisonment in this island, the party that was about to be held, his lost memories.

Komaeda.

"Hey, Hinata...?"

With that, his existential bubble popped.

"Ah, eh... Yes?"

"Do you think things will remain the way they are?" Komaeda’s expression remained blank, not giving away the true meaning of his question.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Hinata asked back, cocking his head.

"I mean, will we really continue to live like this in peace, with no murders happening until the day we die?"

Komaeda's eyes weren't directed at him, his voice was low and somber, his expression hard to see thanks to the lack of light and his head turned to the other side. He was usually such an outwardly cheerful, positive guy that seeing him so clearly upset felt... just plain wrong.

The realization came over Hinata like a bucket of cold water: of course Komaeda would be concerned, worried or scared, he was human too, after all. It was foolish of him to think Komaeda was always just smiles and encouragement.

It's just that it was so easy to forget, Hinata had been so mentally dependant on Komaeda from the moment they set foot on that island that he forgot to take Komaeda's own fears into consideration. Being a source of hope for others didn't mean you never needed some hope for yourself from time to time. What a major oversight, how could Hinata call himself a good friend when he had been so self-centered?

Well, there was no use in feeling guilty over that now. The important thing was that Hinata could now try to make it better. Maybe he wasn't as big of an optimist as Komaeda, but even someone like him had a little hope to give.

"I think..." He started without even knowing where to go for a moment. "I think some people might be feeling the pressure, sure. Everybody's on edge and nobody wants to stay here for a second longer than they have to." Komaeda shifted, though still not looking at him, already sensing the incoming brighter side. "But I also think learning to trust each other can save us, and buy us time until someone comes to rescue us or we find a way to get out of here. Perhaps not everyone here feels that way, but I'm sure that with a little persuasion and some time, we can get everyone to work together and cooperate with each other."

To his delight, Komaeda finally made eye contact again, and even better, his spirit seemed to be a lot livelier now, displaying a big grin across his features.

"Ah, Hinata..." He breathed out, his face slightly flushed. "That was truly wonderful! So hopeful, I think the same way too! I'm so happy we both agree on this!" The complete 180 on his attitude was certainly odd, but Hinata would not complain if it let him see that beautiful smile of his. "You're absolutely right, the Symbols of Hope are going to find a way out of this killing game, there's no other possible outcome!"

"Hey, don't talk like you're not part of us, dumbass." He playfully nudged Komaeda on the side. "I'm not gonna let you slack off and leave all the work to us, alright? You better put in some effort too." Hinata scolded jokingly, popping another grape into his mouth.

"Haha, of course, of course! Don't worry, I'll _definitely_ put some effort of my own as well, you can be sure of that."

_ Somehow, for some reason, the inflection in Komaeda’s voice sent a chill down Hinata’s spine. _

"Say, Hinata." Komaeda began again. "If you were killed tonight, would you have any regrets?"

At that Hinata started choking on the grape he happened to be chewing at that exact same moment. He wasn't able to reply for a while, as he was literally hitting his own chest trying to regain the ability to breathe while Komaeda just looked slightly worried, though also a little amused.

"J-jeez! Komaeda! We've been over this! Stop saying dark shit like that!"

"Sorry! I'm sorry, haha!" Now that Hinata was able to properly breathe again, it didn't seem like Komaeda needed to hold back his chuckling any longer. "I wasn't trying to be gloomy, really. I'm just saying... humans don't tend to live their lives to the fullest, right?" His expression turned serious once again, not concerning like last time, but his brow was furrowed enough to make him seem deep in thought. "I mean, living each day like it's your last can definitely bring some unhealthy implications, but…."

"I do think it's very sad." He continued. "When people on their deathbed think ‘I should've done this’ or ‘I shouldn't have done that’ or things like that... don't you agree, Hinata?"

To be frank, Hinata hadn't expected such a carefree guy like Komaeda to ponder over such deep topics, but it wasn't necessarily an unpleasant surprise either. It only went to show how much Hinata had really underestimated Komaeda’s insight.

"I guess you're right." He started after taking some time to think. "People don't really like to think about death, so we always try to forget the fact that it's eventually coming, but…." He hesitated, the little cube of cheese suddenly tasting sour in his mouth. "This death game has made us think back on our lives, I think, at least for me. And, to be honest, I've lived a pretty good life, I haven't really done anything noteworthy or special, but... I wouldn't change a thing, I'm happy with where I got."

Hinata smiled brightly with genuine words in his heart. He wasn't a particularly picky guy, his life was made out of highs and lows, achievements and mistakes, but then again, whose wasn't?

Nonetheless, his fluttering heart came to a halt when he turned around and saw Komaeda's dubious expression. It took him a bit to realize why.

"Ah, I don't mean that _literally_, obviously!" He flailed, panicking, causing some of the loose grapes to fall off the plate. "I sure damn wish I would've never entered that stupid classroom and gotten trapped on this island! I definitely don't mean I'm okay with dying here, either! There are lots of things I still wanna do! Like, uh, well-"

"Okay, okay, calm down! Hahaha!" Komaeda started laughing again, bringing some color to his pale cheeks. "I wasn't worried about that, Hinata, haha!"

"Ah, haha…. Of course." Well now he felt silly for getting so worked up about it.

"I'm curious now, though, what kind of things do you still want to do?"

"Oh, well…."

_ "Getting closer to you, maybe…." _

It took all of Hinata's self-control to not visibly cringe at his own passing thought. Where the hell did that thought come from? There were lots of things he wanted to do after leaving that island, like, graduating, going abroad, getting a nice job, a nice apartment, probably a pet or two, and there was probably something about his ultimate talent that he still could not remember, and-

But he had Komaeda next to him at that moment, he supposed it was only natural that it had been the first thing to come to his mind.

Yeah, sure, he was the one who decided he wouldn't attempt anything until they all left the island, but spending so much time with Komaeda for the last few days had made him wish for them to get closer, even under these dire circumstances. No doubt it was extremely inappropriate in the context they were in, but it wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose. It certainly didn't help how supportive Koizumi showed to be that afternoon.

He found himself wondering: if only he had the resolve to be honest about his feelings... would Komaeda accept them? Would he reciprocate? Or would that be the end of the fragile friendship they had built over the last few days?

What if one of them died in this place without Hinata ever telling him how he felt?

"Hinata?"

"Eh?"

"Is something wrong?"

But alas, he was not ready.

"Ah, no, no." He shook his head nervously. "I was just thinking, you know, haha... things like graduating, traveling around the world and--"

"Is there someone you like?"

His whole body jumped up. "Wh-what!?"

Was it a shot in the dark? Just a general question, or did Komaeda somehow read his thoughts? Did the Ultimate Lucky Student's talent include telepathy or something? Or was it possible that he was really just that obvious?

"Haha, you don't have to react like that, it's just a question." Komaeda smiled, placing a hand on top of Hinata's shoulder as if to prevent him from jumping up again.

"I-I know that, you just- caught me off guard, is all."

"A lot of people regret not having confessed to the person they liked." He started reassuring him, still not letting go of his shoulder. "So you don't need to be embarrassed if you feel like that about someone. Though, I think I'd be a little jealous, haha."

...

... Eh?

"Since you reacted that way, it's safe to assume you do have a person you like, right?"

Wait a minute...

"Hmm, is it someone on this island, or someone we don't know?"

What did he...?

"Man, I don't know! Haha, can you give me a little hint? I'm very curious now."

What _was_ that just now?

"Wait, Komaeda."

"Hm?" The boy cocked his head, mirroring Hinata's own confused expression.

"Wh-what did you just say? That'd you'd be... jealous? What do you mean with that?"

A good five seconds passed with Komaeda offering nothing but a blank expression as a reply. Hinata waited, anxiously trying to read the situation but trying not to jump to conclusions. He could've easily misunderstood, maybe Komaeda just meant-

"Ahaha, so you caught that, huh?" Komaeda's signature laidback smile returned and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "I kind of hoped you wouldn't catch it, guess I shouldn't have thought I would get away with it so easily."

Hold on….

"Oh wow, you have a weird expression on your face, heh... As I thought, I shouldn't have said anything."

Does this mean…?

"Sorry for spitting it out like that, it must be gross to receive a confession from a guy like me, huh? Haha."

_Confession._

"Ah, you don't have to give me an answer or anything. Actually, if you'd rather not speak to me ever again, I completely understa-"

By the time his brain had caught up with his own body, his lips were already clumsily pressed against the other boy's mouth. It had been a complete knee-jerk reaction, his body had practically jumped on his own like a jack-in-the-box before he could even decide for himself. There was the loud sound in the background of the fancy plate hitting the ground and dropping all the remaining food on the floor, but he might as well have never heard it for all he cared.

Komaeda was just as surprised as he was. This... was okay, right? Komaeda had 100%, definitely, without a doubt, just said he liked him, right? He never considered he would just return his feelings, just like that, so easily, but maybe he had some luck of his own too.

They both sat there, tensed, not moving a muscle for a good couple of seconds. After all, Hinata wanted to make sure to give Komaeda a chance to push him away, just in case.

That never happened.

Instead, Komaeda's tension slowly melted away and he began leaning invitingly into the kiss, if not yet making any advances of his own. That gave Hinata the confidence necessary to shakily bring up a hand towards Komaeda's cheek, gently cupping his face as he tried to relax as well.

The touch apparently broke the illusion, though, and Komaeda backed away from the kiss as soon as Hinata's hand had come into contact with his face. He regained some personal space, though not enough to actually get away from him.

"W-wait, Hinata, are you sure? I didn't think..." He stuttered, eyes wide and with a faint blush on his cheeks. God, he looked so pretty. There was a part of Hinata that was really embarrassed of what he was doing, but not having to be afraid of rejection anymore liberated him in a way that made him realize just how much he actually wanted Komaeda. It was easy to hold back when you didn't think you had much of a chance, but now he had just been confessed to and there was no way he would pass up the opportunity anymore.

Not like there was any time to explain any of that, Hinata simply replied by diving in for a second kiss.

This time he made sure to get in a much more comfortable position from the get-go, properly turning his body so he could face Komaeda like he should have the first time. His hand immediately reclaimed the place where it was trying to rest the last time and he made sure to tilt his head a little too.

Komaeda seemed to get into it a bit more as well. Pulling his face closer, Hinata started tentatively moving his lips, attempting to gain some friction to properly feel the boy's mouth against his own. God, he felt so right it's how he felt.

And then Komaeda made a sound.

It was very quiet, and in reality, it had probably been just his breathing, but it vibrated right against Hinata's mouth and the only response his brain could form after that was 'more, more, moremoremoreMORE'.

He swiped his tongue right before lightly nibbling on Komaeda's lower lip. It was so sudden that Komaeda gasped, giving him an opening to slide inside his mouth.

This wasn't exactly the outcome Hinata had expected when he offered to help Komaeda with the cleaning, but _God_ was he grateful about this turn of events. Komaeda's mouth was warm and soft and his skin felt almost creamy beneath his fingers. He slid both his hands to the back of the other boy’s neck as he leaned his own body forward, further pulling them closer and deeper into the kiss.

The air started becoming hotter around them. Even when they needed to take breaks to breathe they wouldn't pull apart for more than an inch and pant into each other's mouths before hungrily resuming the kiss where they left off. There was a tiny fraction of Hinata's brain saying 'this is too fast, it's gonna become a problem very soon if you keep going at it', but Komaeda's increasingly provocative moans drowned out any rational thoughts he could've had. Neither of them was particularly skilled, the kiss was sloppy and messy and they clumsily clanked teeth one too many times, but Hinata wouldn’t have had it any other way.

He had just started lowering his hands down Komaeda's neck, over his collarbone and under the collar of his shirt, when the sound of the hotel door creaking open reached his ears.

Everything he was doing stopped at once, now clumsily trying to regain the personal space he had so willingly given up just a moment ago. Hopefully, the person at the door was entering the hotel instead of leaving it, and with enough luck, they hadn't seen the hot steamy make-out session going on at the old building's staircase.

"Hinata?"

He turned around at the sound of his name, and….

It was the first time he properly paid attention to how Komaeda looked since they started kissing, and nothing could’ve prepared him for it.

Red in the face, panting, his chest going up and down trying to even his breathing, eyes teary and half-lidded, his lips red and swollen, shining under the moonlight thanks to the saliva dripping on the side. He looked absolutely gorgeous and it was all due to Hinata. He had messed this boy up with just a small make-out session.

How much better would he look if Hinata tried messing him up even further?

"I-Ineedtogetreadyforthepartyseeyoulaterokaybye" He blurted out in a single breath as he sprung to his feet and swiftly turned around to practically sprint towards his cottage.

Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous. That had been _way_ too dangerous. Those kisses, the way Komaeda looked, all of it was absolutely dangerous. Hinata didn't need to see his face to know it was probably burning red even though he was sure there was some blood traveling down _there_ as well.

"Hinata?" He thought he heard Togami's voice calling out to him as he flew across the boardwalk. Oh, so Togami was the one who opened the hotel door. Well, Hinata didn't want him to see him in the state he was in, so he was left with no choice but to ignore him and lock himself in his room before Togami could come and interrogate him.

He spent a good 15 minutes sitting on his bed, trying to form coherent thoughts until he finally managed to reach four conclusions:

1) Komaeda liked him back.

2) Kissing Komaeda was amazing.

3) Komaeda looked stunning with a flushed face and saliva running down his chin.

4) God he wanted to see him like that again.

By the time he noticed it, it was already 9:30 pm, so he took a good shower and put extra effort into his appearance before heading to the old building again for the party.

Besides the weird body check and Togami's oddly paranoid behavior, he didn't act any different towards him and didn't ask about their brief encounter from earlier, to which Hinata could only feel gratitude towards. He didn't really feel like making up an excuse for it on the spot.

They were in a strange situation, and the suddenness of the celebration was... odd, but all of them (except Kuzuryuu, of course) were there and the mood was overall lively, all things considered.

Hinata was just starting to feel a little relaxed when he caught a glimpse of Komaeda in the corner of the dining hall. He waited one, two, three, and then five minutes, but Komaeda didn't make any move to go talk to him, he was just happily chatting with Sonia without a trace of stress in his face.

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to approach Komaeda anymore, what should he even say to him at this point? "Sorry I bailed on you earlier, let's continue where we left off"?

Togami joined them soon enough, and after a couple of preparations and some “security measures” being taken (according to Togami), the party was finally started. Groups mingled throughout the night, people popping in and out of different talk circles naturally. Laughter rang out across the dining hall and friendly banter was thrown back and forth, everyone seemed to be having a good time. He would’ve been having a good time himself if it wasn’t for the underlying anxiety eating him from the inside out.

At one point, Hinata looked over to his right to find none other than Komaeda casually joining the current group he was in, right next to him.

Boy, was it awkward. Would it be rude if he ignored him? Should he act like nothing happened? Maybe it was better to pretend everything was normal in front of the others and then sort out the issue later. It’s not like they could openly talk about it with everyone there, not without the whole class noticing there was something going on, and Hinata wasn’t really sure he wanted anyone to find out like that about his personal endeavors.

A light touch on his right hand interrupted his panicked train of thought. Taking a quick glance to his side confirmed Komaeda's fingers were lightly brushing the edges of his own. The touch was shy, hesitant, and yet somehow confident at the same time, almost as if it was asking for permission but knowing there was no way he was gonna be denied anyway.

Nobody noticed, nobody was paying attention, it was a little embarrassing, but... Hinata returned the gesture, loosely intertwining his fingers with Komaeda's. His skin was soft and tender, maybe only due to all the chemicals he'd been handling earlier, but it felt nice all the same.

The gesture was so corny and innocent he couldn't help but let a stupid grin appear across his face. He glanced to his right again, finding Komaeda staring back at him with a content smile on his lips.

The rest of the noise in the room seemed to disappear at that moment. No words needed to be said, that single look alone spoke volumes for Hinata. That's right, there wasn't really much to be said between them, at least not right away, their intertwined hands communicated more than enough at the moment. Yeah, there were... details that needed to be addressed, eventually, but for now Hinata was content with just having Komaeda next to him, feeling like they understood each other a little better.

Hopefully, maybe... this meant they could get closer from now on, know each other on a deeper level, at least that was how Hinata felt at that moment.

.....

...

_ *Beep beep* _

"...Hm? What was that sound just now?"

If only that feeling could've lasted a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~dingdongrumba theater~
> 
> W e l p.
> 
> And they lived happily ever af- god I wish
> 
> EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO @korkinchis for betaing this chapter! Now this thing will have better chances at being good :D


	5. Broken illusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trial's over.
> 
> Execution's done.
> 
> How did Hinata ever think this was going to have an easy happy ending?

Happiness didn’t exist on this island.

Hinata finally saw the reality of his situation. He had been a fool, an absolute idiot, how did he ever think they could work together and find a way out of that island? Hah, such a naive way of thinking. It felt like being embarrassed at the things you believed as a child, but in this case Hinata just felt like an idiot at the things he believed just a few hours ago.

His hands fell limply and lifelessly at the sides of his body as he simply stood there in the middle of the pool area, gaze fixated on the floor. His head was down, swarmed with a thousand thoughts a second and he wasn’t even bothering to try and keep up with them, only letting them wash over him and fill his heart with despair, despair, despair and more despair.

Most people get to see a corpse at some point in their lives, usually at a loved one’s funeral or something similar. But seeing a murdered body, one laying on the floor with blood splattered everywhere, a horrified expression on what was once a face full of vigor… no amount of movies or special effects could prepare you for that.

To see a person that just minutes ago was breathing, talking, walking next to them, now laying completely still, no trace of life left….

He wasn’t about to go and pretend Togami and him had the deepest of bonds or anything like that, but he liked to think they were at least comrades, friends even. Togami had had a bit of an ego and he wasn’t exactly Mister Smiles, but his sense of duty and leadership were nothing short of admirable. The man had spent his last few days trying to keep everyone safe and united, which was definitely more than Hinata had ever done. If anything, he was extremely thankful to him for taking the responsibility of being the leader, of trying to keep everyone safe, even if that ironically ended up being his downfall.

And Hanamura. Hinata’s blood boiled remembering what he had done, he was so angry about him letting himself be manipulated, to be persuaded into committing murder. No matter how much they all wanted to get out of there, succumbing to the temptation wasn’t allowed, stooping as low as taking somebody else’s life (and then the rest of theirs) to escape was just unforgivable. They were all trying to figure out a way to get out without playing Monokuma’s sick twisted game, so how dare he cave in to it, right into Monokuma’s paws?

Yet Hinata couldn’t bring himself to hate Hanamura. Despite his wrongdoings, he was just as human as everybody else, including Hinata himself. It was hard for him to judge him completely when he himself had felt like he was about to murder someone on the first day too. He had been so scared, so paranoid and desperate. Sometimes he still felt that way, some days the fact that he could really try to kill someone to get out of there sneaked its way into his subconscious before he would quickly discard it and feel disgusted with himself for a bit. So he could understand the paranoia of thinking that there was no way out, that if he let more time pass he would end up as a victim or Monokuma would just get bored and kill them all anyway.

Murder should never be the answer for anything, but he couldn’t help but empathize with Hanamura a little bit. They were all in the same despair-inducing situation and Hanamura just happened to be quicker to snap, easier to break than the rest of them, just another guy afraid of dying. Damn it if Hinata wasn’t scared shitless too.

God, but him….

A shiver ran down his spine at the change of direction his train of thought did. He’d been trying really hard to not let his mind wander off there, but he guessed it really had just been a matter of time. A drop of sweat rolled down his temple as he tried to prevent his nails from digging into his own palms, the pain barely distracting him from his even more chaotic thoughts.

It hurt. It hurt a lot to think about him now. It used to make him feel happy, hopeful, thankful, even a little warm under the collar, but now it was only causing his brow to furrow and his chest to twist the inside. He shut his eyes closed, trying to wince away the tightness in his throat, ultimately failing at it.

He was crazy. Komaeda was goddamn insane. There wasn’t really a different conclusion he could reach without blatantly ignoring everything Komaeda had done or said during the trial. Sure, going insane on this island wasn’t an unbelievable thing in the slightest, the problem was that Komaeda seemed to have been that way even before he set foot on that island.

And that’s what hurt the most. Sure, Hanamura cracked under the pressure of the killing game, but Komaeda? He manipulated him into it, he’d been like that from the start, having some kind of odd obsession with hope or whatever the hell he’d been rambling about during the trial. All this time together, that laid-back but nice guy he’d been hanging out with, laughing with, kissing….

It had all been fake.

All of it, it had all been some kind of game for him.

He briefly wondered if he could’ve maybe been able to figure it out sooner, before it was too late. Perhaps it was possible, in retrospect, Komaeda definitely showed some odd behavior once or twice. But, as Nanami had said during the trial, none of those warranted suspicion on their own. That somehow didn’t make it better, it just meant Komaeda was a lot smarter and malicious than he could’ve ever seen coming.

And all for what? Killing them all? Killing himself? Even after his confession at the trial Hinata didn’t understand exactly what was going on in that head of his, or what his intentions even were. He talked about hope and despair and stepping stones and battles but none of that made any sense to him. He didn’t understand how any of that could be an excuse to attempt murder. Komaeda almost spoke about it like some sort of religion, or a deeply rooted set of ideals. Despair for the sake of hope? What the fuck did that even mean?

On top of that Komaeda had really gone and offered his life to a hypothetical killer, even promising to help them not get caught. What kind of lunatic would make an offer like that? Sure, he made some pretty self-deprecating comments, but did he really hate himself that much to be okay with that? It was like he was suicidal or something, but… Hinata didn’t know suicidal people could seek those kinds of ends, he sure as hell didn’t think that way even on his lowest of moments.

The tightness in his chest was no accompanied by a pulsating headache. It would probably do him no good if he kept trying to understand Komaeda’s way of thinking. He was simply insane, there wasn’t much more to it, probably. People go to college and study for years to try and understand how people like Komaeda think, so he guessed he didn’t have much of a chance at succeeding in just one night. There was only one thing he needed to have clear.

He wasn’t trustworthy, no matter how friendly he had originally appeared to be.

If there was one thing that made Komaeda’s betrayal hurt more, it was all the time they had spent together before the party. If Komaeda had only been friendly towards the others to not appear suspicious then that meant Hinata had been the biggest idiot of them all.

The twinge in his heart only squeezed harder. All the walks together, the jokes, the words of reassurance they exchanged, those had started to become precious memories for Hinata. They had represented the little bit of hope and happiness he’d managed to find on that island when the situation around him only tried to sink him down further into insanity. And now those memories were completely tainted with black, crumbled in a ball, twisted and burnt like an old Polaroid.

Komaeda’s confession, the kiss, the hand holding… was it really all a lie? All just to get away with murder later on? He’d certainly felt persuaded to just ignore the red flags before the evidence became too much to ignore. The way he’d spoken about his plan even seemed to try and convince them that somehow he was the good guy of the group. It didn’t look like he’d acted out of selfish desires either, but that only made him an even bigger of an enigma in Hinata’s eyes.

The stupid little romantic back and forth they’d been doing was just another big puzzle piece that didn’t fit anywhere. It was hard to decide what was worse, that Komaeda’s alleged feelings were just another lie or that he really felt like that and Hinata now had a psychopath looming over him.

Hinata shook his head trying to get rid of the awful nausea rising from his stomach. It didn’t matter whether Komaeda doing that to distract him or to toy with him or to get him on his side or whatever, the end result was the same.

Komaeda was dangerous.

And he needed to get away from him. He needed to forget whatever pathetic feelings he had started to develop for him.

He sighed, forcing himself to drag his feet away from the cool air of the night and into the “comfort” of his cottage.

He hated this place with all his heart, he hated not being able to trust the people that were supposed to be his friends, the people he was now forced to live with. And most of all, he hated not being able to trust himself, to not commit any stupid mistakes or to not make any more stupid decisions like how he decided to trust Komaeda from the very beginning.

What kind of cruel joke was this? Why had he fallen for psychopath of the bunch? Was his karma really that bad? His head just kept filling with more and more questions, questions for which he either didn’t have an answer for or the probable answer made him want to punch the wall until his knuckles bled.

He was doing just that before he could even realize it. The pain wasn’t what made him snap out of it, rather it was the fresh tears that no were rolling down his cheeks. He separated his fists from the wall, briefly wondering if the others heard all the noise he probably made, or if they would notice the injuries and start to distrust him now too. Well, it was too late anyway, no one trusted anyone anymore, not for real.

He dragged his body to the bed, flopping on top of it. If only Komaeda hadn’t started this perhaps they could’ve all been real friends at some point. Instead, the more or less solid union they had started to develop was completely shattered. They could try to rebuild it again, but it was obvious it could never be solid.

All because of Nagito Komaeda, the crazy guy that Hinata had been stupid enough to fall for.

Hurt, betrayed and ashamed, Hinata fell asleep letting his tears stain the pillow beneath, hopefully he would catch some much needed sleep so he could look at least not dead in the morning.

He still would have to face Komaeda again tomorrow after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been three months and I'm sorry aahhhh. This chapter was hard to write because basically nothing happens, but it was necessary to set the mindset for the rest of the story, hopefully the story will flow a lot easier from this point onwards!


	6. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New day, new island, new turmoils, same fucking feelings and the same fucking guy in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am finally updating this wehhh
> 
> I told you guys I'm not a writer I'm incredibly slow at this hhHHH I'm getting a little bit better, though, so hopefully a hiatus like this doesn't happen again!

He woke up feeling about as shitty as he expected to. 

Yeah, whatever the hell had happened yesterday could very well fuck off. 

Unfortunately, feeling shitty did not prevent him from feeling hungry. There was no way he could stay in his cottage forever with no food available, sooner or later he would need to get up and confront the situation he was in again. Confront... him.

Trying to get up from the bed reminded him of the dull pain on his knuckles from having a one-sided match with his wall the night prior. That was just great, he sincerely hoped no one would notice or ask about it, maybe the rest would be distracted by their own misery enough that it wouldn’t be an issue. Hinata had the decency to feel horrible for wishing that for a brief moment before he hastily adjusted his clothing to look at least a little less dead inside and then headed out through the door.

Hinata could feel the anxiety of seeing Komaeda again bubble up in his stomach, but that still didn't make him any less hungry. Swallowing up the uneasiness, he forced his feet to walk towards the restaurant again. 

To his relief, he didn't meet Komaeda on his way there and he wasn't in the restaurant yet either. Some of the tension lifted off from his shoulders, but the anxiety wouldn't leave him completely, it was only a matter of time after all. 

One by one, everyone else started arriving at the restaurant. As it was expected, the ambiance in the room was gloomy, to put it lightly. How could it not be? They all had to go through such awful events yesterday, it was hard to stay positive after going through something like that.

At least that was what Hinata had thought. It didn't take long before the playful banter started to lift the mood up and everyone started looking much more relaxed than they did when they first entered. That was... good, it went to show that they still had some fight in them to give. Admittedly, it was a little hard for him to maintain that same level of optimism, try as he might. Were all ultimates like this? He was supposedly an ultimate too, so why did he always feel so disconnected from the rest of the group? Maybe he was the one that needed a pick-me-up the most.

He didn't have any time to keep pondering on that with Monomi's arrival and the news about the second island being open to explore now. With a renewed hope for finding a way out of that place, the group's determination only seemed to strengthen. Hinata actually managed to smile a little.

But there was still no sign of Komaeda.

"My sincerest condolences, Hajime." Came a sweet voice from behind his right shoulder as everyone was starting to leave. A little startled, Hinata turned around to find the princess of Novoselic looking up at him, a sad frown occupying her otherwise perfect face. "I wish you to know that what happened yesterday was most definitely not your fault and I do not hold you accountable for what Komaeda did in the slightest."

"Oh, um... Thank you?" He wasn't sure what Sonia was even talking about, but he nodded anyway, not wanting to seem rude.

"You're very welcome." She said, returning the nod and elegantly holding her own hands in front of herself. "Rest assured, I don't suspect at all of you knowing about his true nature, you two being in a relationship does not incriminate you in my eyes."

Hinata nearly died from choking on his own spit. "Ack- How do you-!?" There was now a very visible pink on his face. First Koizumi, and now Sonia as well, it was starting to look like he really, really sucked at keeping secrets. A groan escaped from his lips at this realization, well, there was no point in denying it now, he figured. "Ugh, nevermind, I don't think I want to know. Thanks, I guess, that's... reassuring." Frankly, he didn't look reassured at all, but Sonia's words had obviously been meant to be taken as encouragement, she wanted to help in her own way.

It seemed like he did a really bad job at pretending though, since Sonia only seemed to worry further. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I-I simply noticed that you looked anxious earlier and thought maybe you'd be worried about being seen as suspicious and-"

"No, no-" He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, waving her off with his other hand. "You did nothing wrong, I'm just- sorry, you're right, I guess I'm stressed about all of this. Komaeda hasn't shown up all day and it has me a little bit on edge I suppose." That was about as honest as he had the strength to be at the moment. 

And apparently it was enough, judging by the little bit of tension that visibly melted off from Sonia's shoulders. She nodded twice, offering Hinata a sympathetic look. "Yes, that is only natural, I, of course, am concerned about his whereabouts as well. If no one has seen him then it probably just means he doesn't want to be seen for now, so I doubt we will find him before he decides to show up himself."

"You're probably right." A sigh escaped him again but now a petite hand found its way on his shoulder, Sonia's smile was much more calming than her words were.

"Rest assured, we will all be wary of him from now on, if no one's missing there's nothing to worry about. It must have been harder for you, so leave dealing with him to us, you don't need to handle him on your own."

There was a part of him that very much doubted that. Yeah, he should get less involved with him from now on, but... would that really be possible? "Yes, of course. Thank you, Sonia. I'll... try to keep that in mind."

Satisfied, the princess bowed in response and interchanged goodbyes before they both left the restaurant. There was a new island to explore after all. 

* * *

Walking around the new island was a goddamn headache. With every new location more questions arose and there were still no signs of a way out or a clue on who might be behind all of this. Maybe it had been a long shot from the start, but that didn't make it any less disappointing. The word was already starting to leave a bad taste in his mouth, but they say hope always dies last, right? Well, it felt like Hinata would die first if things kept going the way they were.

And to add on top of that frustration, he still kept finding his thoughts orbit back to Komaeda and his whereabouts. Where the hell was this guy? Was he really hiding from them trying to scheme something? It's not like there was much of a point in hiding for that, they all knew he wasn’t trustworthy already and there was no way he didn’t know they were aware of that, it was a little too late to play the innocent card.

He shouldn't even care that much, right? If Komaeda wasn't around that only meant everyone else was safer. 

_ Unless someone had taken him up on his offer-  _

His mind stopped dead in his tracks, a cold feeling washed over him with the potential of leaving him standing there as a statue. Komaeda... Komaeda had offered his own life to whoever planned to be the next murderer, he'd even talked about helping the killer leave no trace behind. How could he mean that in the slightest!? “For hope”, he’d said. Fuck, could someone have really taken him seriously on that? Komaeda meant what he’d said, he knew that for sure, but would someone really be crazy enough to go through with it?

“I-I don’t know… Seriously, don’t ask me...” And of course, Souda wasn’t being helpful at all. “Who cares about that crazy-ass bastard, anyway!? We need to search this island first and foremost! There might be a way to escape!” Hinata listened to Souda lie through his teeth, he knew something, that much was clear, the question was, was he hiding the fact that Komaeda was dead or just something else entirely? He didn’t really think Souda would actually have the guts to kill anyone, or be able to hide the fact that someone was dead for longer than 3 seconds, but Hinata still couldn’t help but feel anxious about Komaeda’s status.

“I, for one, am glad that creep has gone missing!” Saionji exclaimed after bringing up Komaeda’s disappearance again in the restaurant. “He was irritating from the start and then he turned out to be a total creep! I say we stop caring about him and just let him rot wherever he ended up in.”

“U-Umh… T-That’s pr-probably not a good idea…” Tsumiki interjected, her stance as nervous as always. “L-Letting a dead body to rot i-is very unhygienic, n-not to mention that w-we’d need to find the culprit to-”

“Nobody asked for your opinion, pig barf!”

“Waah! I’m sorry! It’s true, I have no right to speak up! Please forgive me!”

Hinata sighed at the exchange that was starting to become routine for all of them. He felt exhausted again, not because of all the walking he’d done that day, but having Komaeda swimming in his head was an incredibly draining process.

His cottage felt… dreading in a different way that night. It was never a feel-good place to begin with but this time there was a different turmoil haunting him. It was already late at night and there was still no sign of Komaeda anywhere. Okay, maybe he was a little too preoccupied, but weren’t the rest also not preoccupied enough? They should at least be a little worried that he might jump them any second now, instead, they seemed almost… relieved that he was gone. Hinata guessed that was fair to an extent, but wasn’t it better to know where your enemy was and keep an eye on him rather than know he’s there without knowing when he will strike?

He hated this. Hated that Komaeda was missing, hated that Nidai and Souda clearly knew something about it but neither of them were saying anything. Hated that he even cared this much in the first place. He couldn’t even lie to himself and say that it was because he was worried he might be scheming something or whatever, no, he was just worried, period.

They’d spent so much time together, Hinata had developed feelings for him for fuck’s sake, as much as he hated to admit that given the circumstances. They’d made out and Hinata thought… that maybe they could become something, at some point. But no, of course life couldn’t be so simple and Komaeda had to turn out to be a goddamn psychopath.

His soul felt hollow as his body collapsed on top of the bed. He could tell sleep wasn’t something he’d be getting much of tonight.

* * *

It’d almost felt like he had blinked 5 times before Monokuma’s obnoxious voice informed him that it was now 7 am.

Hinata had no clue how long he’d actually slept for but it felt like only five minutes had passed since his head hit the pillow. He sat up on his bed with the fastest splitting headache in history and let out a groan in the most hoarse voice he’d heard from himself yet.

He felt just as worried as he did last night, even amidst the headache that was already qualifying as a migraine. He placed his feet on the floor, tapping them repeatedly and rested his chin on the back of his hands, the anxiety just wouldn’t leave him alone and there wasn’t much he could do about it.

Or at least that’s what he thought before realizing he was now standing right outside Komaeda’s cottage.

“Komaeda?” He tried before he’d even processed what he was doing. Shaking his head, he knocked on the door, which he probably should’ve done before trying to speak up in the first place. “Uh, are you in there?”

Hinata wasn’t sure if he should’ve been expecting a response, but he didn’t get one regardless. Biting his lip, he slowly tried the doorknob, only checking to see if it was locked or not. It wasn’t. Would it be okay if he allowed himself in? If Komaeda wasn’t here it’s not like he would get mad anyway, and if he was, at least he would have found him and that was honestly all he wanted after one whole day of not knowing anything about him.

“I’m coming in.” He announced out of reflex before fully opening the door.

Empty. Hinata didn’t even try to hide his disappointment, there was no one else to see it anyway. He checked his wristwatch: 7:08 am, it was probably still too early for Komaeda to have already gotten to the restaurant, and even more so the room looked… unoccupied, Hinata didn’t think anyone had slept here last night.

If that was the case, where could Komaeda have slept last night? Just where the hell was he and why hadn’t he shown any signs of being alive yet? The dreadful possibility of him being dead was only growing bigger and bigger with each second that passed without him anywhere to be seen and Hinata found himself thinking that was somehow worse than Komaeda only trying to hide from them to plan a murder.

He walked over to the bathroom just to make sure, but sure enough, it was just as empty as the rest of the cottage. Nothing was really different from his own room, maybe except for the fact that Komaeda seemed to be much tidier than Hinata was. Aside from that, the only difference was that Komaeda had a small bookshelf instead of Hinata’s obnoxious Monokuma shelf.

It was a small but quite packed bookshelf. Hinata wondered if all of them were really of Komaeda’s interests, since so far every cottage he’d visited was equipped with something related to the owner’s talent or main interest (except his, of course. Leave it to Monokuma to not give him any clues to his forgotten talent). Hesitantly, he started picking up the books one by one, quickly scanning over the titles. This was only to see if he could find some sort of clue as to where Komaeda might be, he was definitely not just curious about what kind of hobbies Komaeda had, and he certainly didn’t just want to find out more about him as a person. No, nothing like that at all.

He did not, in fact, find any clues, but he did find himself a surprise at the types of books that Komaeda seemed to enjoy, if Monokuma really did equip all of their rooms with the things they liked. There was stuff that Hinata could’ve expected like scientific and historic books and mystery novels, but what populated most of Komaeda’s little library were romance novels and poem compilations, he even found a couple of beauty magazines tucked up in the corner. It was true that Komaeda never seemed to be the most masculine of guys, but Hinata just wasn’t expecting these kinds of books to be a main hobby of his, Komaeda really seemed to be a romantic despite all.

“Cute…” The word practically escaped Hinata’s lips without his permission accompanied by a little smile.

Blushing furiously, Hinata frantically looked around the room as if to double-check that Saionji or Souda or whoever wasn’t suddenly looking in through the window and caught his embarrassing slip. Once having confirmed that nobody had magically materialized behind him Hinata hastily put the book he was holding back on the shelf and didn’t waste a second longer in Komaeda’s cottage.

Goddammit, this was the worst, he hated how he couldn’t get Komaeda out of his mind, how he couldn’t get his feelings for him out of the way. He’d promised himself he’d get over him, forget the lie Komaeda had tried to sell him on their first week there and treat him like the dangerous person that he was. He shouldn’t have any romantic feelings for him, he couldn’t afford to.

He had to get away, run, escape as fast as he could. He was dangerous, he couldn't just turn a blind eye to that obvious fact. But Nagito Komaeda was like a damn black hole, always pulling him back in, always seeming to appear right in his orbit again every time he tried to push himself away, always coming back to his thoughts. If only he could resist gravitational force.

His blush only managed to diminish a little on his way to the restaurant. It was true that he needed to forget his… personal feelings towards Komaeda, but he also couldn’t completely forget about him or ignore his presence (or lack of, rather), finding him was still important for the sole fact that they needed to keep an eye on him.

* * *

  
“Komaeda is  _ what _ now?” Hinata stared dumbfounded at both Nekomaru and Souda. Apparently, Komaeda wasn’t missing anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, thanks so much to all of you for waiting so patiently!! Aaahh I know this hasn't been very exciting lately lolol but I promise they will finally interact again next chapter, y'all know what scene is coming hooo boy


	7. Easy to crumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata realizes he isn't as strong as he originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm updating this so soon oh my god, miracles exist.
> 
> The timeline and order of the days continue to stretch a little bit here, as you'll notice. Friendly reminder that the canon events from the game aren't happening one after the other.

He wasn’t running. No, Hajime Hinata did not run towards the old building and he most definitely wasn’t purposefully avoiding the rest of his classmates so they wouldn’t stop him on his way to said building. No, that would be ridiculous, he was simply walking. To the building. Yeah, to check on Komaeda. Walking, as in, at a normal pace, with his legs. Yes.

The revelation that Souda and Nidai had basically kidnapped Komaeda and left him alone in the dining hall of the old building was met with varying reactions from the group. Some people (cough cough, Saionji) seemed to be relieved from this while others showed polite concern and others everything in between. Hinata had been careful to display some of that polite concern with a hint of approval to depict that yes, Komaeda dangerous, Hinata understand, Nidai’s and Souda’s actions questionable, though.

But the reality was that he mostly felt relieved. Komaeda was okay. He was alive and he hadn’t killed anybody either, that was literally all he wanted and it took some inhuman effort to not sigh loudly when the realization hit him. Of course, the fact that Komaeda was in that room alone, even if he was tied up, was still concerning and he  _ did _ think that doing something like that without consulting the rest of the group was questionable at best and just plain wrong at worst. He could agree that Komaeda needed some sort of vigilance but most of them (not only him, no, this time he wasn’t the only one!) thought that this might’ve been a bit extreme.

Which was why he was currently going to check on him, to make sure he was okay and also staying out of trouble. Sure, he was supposedly restrained, but with Komaeda who could ever know? He was smart, there was always a possibility he would find a way to escape or something. Was that a bad thing? Hinata wasn’t sure, but he supposed it was always better to know regardless if they tied him up again or not.

This was all a perfectly logical course of thinking, Hinata concluded. Then why was he practically sneaking off to the building like his actions weren’t completely justified? If someone saw him and questioned him about it he could simply explain all of this to them and it would make perfect sense, why did he feel the need to keep it a secret, then?

It definitely wasn’t because of the fact that he just really wanted to see Komaeda again and given the fact that he was so finicky he had no way of knowing what kind of response he would give if he was questioned about it in his current state. No, it definitely wasn’t that. Shame, some mysteries will always remain mysteries, Hinata mused.

Having Monomi jump on him as soon as he stepped inside the building nearly made his head hit the ceiling. He was already on edge on his way there and then she had to literally appear out of nowhere and almost give him a heart attack at the young age of 17. Surprisingly, he managed to give the correct excuse for his presence there, explaining that checking on Komaeda was an extremely important thing to do, and also that everyone already knew Komaeda was tied up in there so Monomi didn’t have to hide that anymore. Monomi posed no further resistance, only further proving how very justified Hinata was for being there. Relieved at how easy that had been, Hinata walked up to the dining hall doors and stepped inside.

Except he didn’t do that, instead, he stood there in front of the room and stared at it for what would probably qualify as an unnatural amount of time. He felt whatever he’d had for breakfast that morning (what had it been? He’d already forgotten, breakfast had become a blur after hearing about Komaeda) threaten to come back up his digestive system. This shouldn’t be that hard, he shouldn’t be this nervous, and yet his hand simply refused to move and open the damn doors in front of him.

But he really,  _ really _ needed to see Komaeda, stupid denial or not, he had to know how he was doing, so, forcing his body to move, Hinata took both doorknobs and swung the doors open.

The sight before him shouldn’t have surprised him, it really, really shouldn’t have. He had been told ‘Komaeda is tied up in the dining hall’ and that’s exactly what he should’ve expected and exactly the scene that was presented before him. Why, then, was he so shocked to find Komaeda laying on the floor, arms behind his back and wrists restrained with what looked like a rather cheap chain that connected to one of the comically large bolts from the windows? Komaeda’s head instantly perked up at the sound of the doors opening and flashed a big smile at the new presence in the room.

“Ah, Hinata-kun!” He chirped, causing Hinata’s shoulders to instantly tense up. It had only been one day, but it somehow felt like he hadn’t seen Komaeda for an entire week. All the memories of what had happened in this room came back to him, swirling around in his head and causing his nausea to worsen by the second and Komaeda’s presence only seemed to heighten that sensation. “What a surprise to see you here! I thought only Souda-kun and Nidai-kun knew I was here. Ah, but maybe it’s too pretentious for me to think you came here because of me. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed someone as important as you-”

“Listen, quit it.” Hinata cut him off, he was already having a hard time without Komaeda’s delirious self-deprecation, adding that to the mix would just put a headache on top of his already swirling stomach. “Yes, I did come here to check on you, Souda and Nidai spilled the beans this morning and, well.” 

“Ah! I see! Ahaha, well, that was to be expected from them, they’re not the brightest guys after all.” Hearing Komaeda, dare he say, do a  _ sick burn _ on two of the ultimates he so admired took him aback for a bit. He didn’t know Komaeda was capable of that, but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t kind of refreshing. “But still, for Hinata-kun to care enough about someone like me that he would take time out of his day to check on me… I am just not worthy of that much kindness.” He huffed out, almost panting in an unnatural way that looked even less appropriate in the state he was in.

“I wasn’t- You’re not- I mean, you are but I wasn’t- Well, I  _ did _ , but-” Hinata kept tripping over his words without being able to finish a single sentence. Komaeda’s words were like a damn trap in the sense that he was now caught between wanting to get Komaeda out of his stupid self-loathing cycle and wanting to keep at least a little bit of his pride. He decided to give up, bringing both of his index fingers towards his temples, he had been an idiot to think he could’ve avoided this headache. It was literally a lost battle from the start.

“Oh, don’t worry, Hinata-kun, I get it!” Komaeda ignored the obvious pain he was currently undergoing. “I’m aware that you must hate me now after all I’ve done. I’m sure you must feel betrayed, even when everything I did was for the sake of hope, I’m used to people not understanding the intentions of my actions, I wouldn’t expect someone as amazing as you to understand the inferior reasonings of trash like me,” Somehow, for some reason, Hinata wasn’t completely sure if that was more of an insult towards himself or Hinata. Komaeda probably meant it for himself, though, he guessed. “but I assure you, everything I do is only to help the hope that sleeps inside all of you bloom!”

Komaeda finished his monologue with an even brighter grin and then went quiet, waiting for Hinata’s response.

He didn’t get one.

Hinata let the words hang heavy around the room, simply standing there, looking down at Komaeda with a neutral expression on his face, eyelids perhaps slightly closed.

This seemed to take Komaeda aback as his smile gradually dropped from his face. He was obviously expecting Hinata to refute him, insult him, tell him how wrong he was or huff a sigh of exasperation or… or… anything, any kind of reaction.

If there was one response that Komaeda wasn’t used to getting at one of his hope rambles, that would be ‘ _ nothing _ ’.

Eventually, though, Hinata spoke.

“Even trying to kill yourself?”

Komaeda snorted.

“ _ Especially _ trying to kill myself.”

The statement hung in the air, almost sucking it all from the room as they both stared at each other with no discerning emotions on their faces. It was hard to tell just what was going on in any of their heads. There was something Komaeda was trying to say, perhaps not on purpose, perhaps not something he consciously wanted Hinata to know, but he somehow knew there was a certain… message behind those words that Hinata couldn’t quite decipher yet.

“How about… everything you did before that?” He brought up the subject with some embarrassment. “You know, all that… back and forth before… before the party.”

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda began, almost sounding insulted. “if I recall correctly, it was you who kissed me first, I believe.”

“I-I know that!” Hinata snapped back, curling his hands into fists. “I meant! You know! All the times we hung out and- and you confessing and shit! Was all of that part of your twisted hope plan or whatever!?”

Komaeda frowned, he  _ actually _ frowned, like what Hinata was suggesting was just inconceivable. “I think you’re giving me way too much credit, Hinata-kun. There was no way I could’ve expected you to return my feelings, much less try to manipulate you into them. I didn’t think for one second you would ever like me back and I definitely didn’t expect for you to kiss me. In fact, I am still finding a hard time believing you were genuine, to be quite honest.” 

What the  _ fuck _ ? Now  _ he _ was the one being accused of being dishonest? Hinata laughed, he actually laughed at that.

“Oh? So now  _ I’m _ the one with a secret agenda? Are you kidding me?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Komaeda was quick to clarify, though his calm demeanor remained. “I mean that I think you were quite confused, Hinata-kun! Of course, that was all my fault, I probably made you believe I was a much better person than I actually am, not on purpose of course, no one knows how useless I am better than me.”

“Ugh, no, Komaeda, listen, I-”  _ ‘I genuinely do like you’ _ , but he shouldn’t say that, because he  _ shouldn’t _ like Komaeda, and he wasn’t sure if Komaeda should know that, since he could use that to manipulate him or something, he already kind of was and he didn’t even seem to realize it himself. “... I don’t think you’re useless,” he opted to say instead. “I still don’t understand what the hell is going through your head, and you got two of our classmates killed, so yes, I am  _ very much _ mad at you, to put it mildly.” Hinata stared down at him with a harsh expression while Komaeda just looked back, an almost accepting smile on his face, like he welcomed Hinata’s anger and even encouraged it. “But… but I am willing to give you another chance, if you promise to stop trying to get us killed or getting _ yourself  _ killed and help us find a way out of this goddamn island.” 

“Oh, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda laughed quietly to himself, sounding almost… pitying, like he’d given up a long time ago, Hinata wasn’t sure about what, exactly. “if only that was possible.”

He almost asked what he was referring to, but there wasn’t an answer that wouldn’t disappoint him anyway.

“Yeah, well,” He replied after a bit. “I guess that’s that then.”

“I suppose it is.”

Hinata stared deep into the other’s eyes. He was still angry, he was still hurt, he was still very much attracted to him (as much as he hated to admit that) but he also felt an immense… sadness.

Nagito Komaeda’s whole existence was sad.

“Well, I’m glad to see you’re okay,” he finally sighed, half turning his body back towards the door, the exhaustion beginning to set in even though it wasn’t past noon yet. “Good to know Souda and Nidai didn’t rough you up too badly.”

He’d only managed to lift one foot off the floor when a small, nervous chuckle from Komaeda stopped him.

“Actually, ahaha, they kinda did, I can’t feel my hands,” He admitted light-heartedly. “and I’m pretty sure Nidai-kun gave me a concussion, haha, not like I didn’t deserve it, of course! But I can’t say having migraines come and go and feeling like the skin in my wrists is going to tear has been very fun.” Komaeda flashed a care-free smile as Hinata witnessed him shift in his chains and then hiss in pain, further confirming his words.

“Y-You what!?” The way this guy continued to downplay his own suffering was almost impressive, Hinata thought. “Jeez, you should’ve said so sooner! Here, let me take a look.” 

“Ah, no, there’s no need, Hinata-kun!” But Hinata was already kneeling before him and forcing him to sit upright. “You don’t need to worry about me, I may not look like it, but I am quite used to injuries like-”

“Just shut up and be still.” Hinata cut him off, placing himself behind so he could inspect Komaeda’s bound wrists. They were, indeed, badly swollen and colored a nasty purple, Hinata could only guess how painful it must be every time Komaeda moved against his restraints. Now it made sense why he had barely moved ever since Hinata had entered the room, only moving his mouth to speak or kicking his legs a bit every once in a while.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Hinata got up and ripped off two pieces of fabric from one of the table cloths and then carefully wrapped them as best he could underneath the chains, loosening them up just a little in the process to give Komaeda’s wrists some breathing room. The ideal thing would be to get him an ice pack and some painkillers, and of course, get rid of those chains, but for now this was all he could do and there was no way he could unchain him now, especially not after Komaeda’s admission from earlier.

“Ahaha, even after everything I’ve done, you’re still this kind to me, Hinata-kun, I really am lucky! It’s already feeling much better.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He silently questioned how true that really was, the injury still looked plenty painful and Hinata hadn’t even loosened the chain that much, but he would have to take Komaeda’s word for now. “Okay, I’ll, uh, see about getting you some painkillers and an icepack later or something, but for now this will have to do, I guess.”

“This is more than enough!” Komaeda interjected again. “I don’t even deserve this, anyway, Souda-kun and Nidai-kun were in their right to do this to me after all.”

“They’re not-  _ ugh _ .” Hinata sighed, deciding to give up on this argument already. “Whatever, you said your head hurt too, right? Let me take a look at it.”

This time Komaeda didn’t protest, he simply sat there still as Hinata rose from the floor and kneeled in front of Komaeda to inspect his head.

“Where does it hurt?”

“Ah, on my left, a little above my ear.”

Hinata nodded, bringing his hand to where Komaeda had indicated him, searching for the probable bump that resulted from whatever hit Souda and Nidai had given him yesterday. Hinata ran his fingers through the messy white locks that constituted Komaeda’s hair, feeling his way around the boy’s scalp until his hand found the rather big protuberance.

‘ _ Ah, found it _ ’ he thought triumphantly before looking back at Komaeda’s eyes.

And then everything stopped.

Komaeda was looking back at him, eyes half closed behind white lashes that seemed to be about to close completely any moment now. His mouth was parted open and there was a very clear flush adorning his face.

Hinata took a sharp inhale of air at the image, now suddenly realizing how close he’d gotten into Komaeda’s personal space, not to mention the fact that he was basically caressing the side of his head, almost as if he was taking his locks out of the way to… to…

His eyes travelled to those thin, parted lips and that fact was clearly not lost on Komaeda. He mirrored the other boy’s actions, leaving Hinata feeling like he suddenly couldn’t breathe anymore.

Time seemed to stop as both of them took turns to look at each other’s mouths and then eyes, then back down to their lips again. This dance seemed to last forever, neither of them daring to break the weird trance they had both fallen into. Why was Hinata so close to Komaeda’s face, anyway? Hinata couldn’t recall, all he knew was that Komaeda’s lips were looking very inviting and they were both closing the distance at the same time.

At the end it was Komaeda who made the last push to get rid of the remaining distance, though Hinata wouldn’t have taken much longer to do so himself. The contact was much more superficial and tender than last time, their lips barely brushing against each other as they both slowly closed their eyes the rest of the way and gradually kept pressing their mouths together. There was something about this kiss this time that made Hinata feel light-headed, his mind swirling in a pleasant daze that took him away from the moment. His body suddenly felt light, almost as if it didn’t exist except for his hand on Komaeda’s hair and his lips pressed against the other’s.

There was a small hum coming from Komaeda’s throat as he ever so slightly applied more pressure into the contact, finally breaking the static of the moment and prompting him to start moving a little just to feel that alluring softness rub against his much rougher features.

Komaeda felt impossibly fragile under his hand and he found himself unable to stop it from running over his hair, gently caressing the side of his head.

“Ouch-!” Komaeda suddenly jolted, breaking the kiss and, in turn, the illusion with it.

“Ah! Sorry! I was-!” And then it all came crashing down at him.

He had just kissed Komaeda again, the  _ one thing _ he really shouldn’t be doing when he promised himself he would try his damn hardest to forget about his attraction towards him.

“It’s fine, it didn’t- Hinata-kun? Are you okay?”

“I- I-” What was he doing there, anyway? How could he have allowed this to happen again when he knew he should be staying 200 feet away from Komaeda? He never should’ve come here, checking on him was a stupid mistake, why did he ever think this would be a good idea!?

“Hinata-kun?”

“I- I need to go!” Was the last sentence Hinata offered him before clumsily standing up and rushing out of the room, leaving a very confused Komaeda kneeling on the dining hall floor.

There was a blur of perhaps one or two people as Hinata dashed across the floorboards back to his cottage, swinging his door open and slamming it behind him as he now stood against it, panting.

God, he couldn’t believe himself, a couple caresses and a pair of pretty eyes and next thing he knew his lips were pressed flush against Komaeda’s again. He felt extreme shame at his monumental lack of self-restraint. He’d promised himself after the trial that he would stay away from Komaeda as much as possible and get rid of those very inconvenient feelings but here he was, literally making out with him the next moment they saw each other.

Well, Komaeda had started it, right? He was the one that started making batty eyes at him in the first place and he was the one that kissed him first, right? Jesus, if that was all it took for his resolve to crumble that easily then this was going to be harder than he’d originally imagined.

I can’t go back there, Hinata concluded, not if he really wanted to get rid of that stupid crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting mMmMMMmMMMMmmm spICEY
> 
> To write this chapter I actually went and reread the previous ones (something I don't do often) and oh my god how did you guys survive that sdkfjdgdKDSFJDS I hope these latest chapters are more decent?? I think I have a better grasp at the characters than I used to
> 
> oh also in case somebody doesn't know, you can find me on tumblr under the same name and on Twitter as @sin_BINch


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